3 things to understand before getting into a relationship, again

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Years and years of your life, you've been on and off countless relationships. Some left you a memorable and beautiful memories, while some are just plain hurtful and you wished you'd just forget it and move on.


After so many trial and errors, you had finally found that Mr.right; that one guy that seemed perfect and could promise you a thousand happily ever after. But because of the experience you've had in the past, you're too scared to try; you're scared that you'd mess up and it leaves you to nothing but heartbreaks again; or maybe worse; you're too scared to be in a relationship so you'll just let the chance of being with Mr.right slip away, just like that.

Maybe even after so many relationships, you still don't understand what exactly being in a relationship means. Maybe even after being with so many guys, you're still repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

Well, maybe i'm not the best love expert out there, but i am still going to share some of my thoughts that you could consider before jumping right into relationships again.

1. Don't expect too much

There are so many girls out there that make this mistake. They expect that a relationship are supposed to look like something that comes out of Disney and ended up getting disappointed. Please note this: There are no; and there will be no relationship that's perfect. Relationships are build from two individuals that not only love each other, but improvise each other. There will always be mistakes and fight, and it's up to both of you to either fix it or get done with it. There are no such things as relationships without fights. Plus, fighting is not a bad thing in a relationship (unless it's often then no, that's not healthy). From the fight, you know the other person better, and you know what they like and dislike. From there, you learn about your other half a little bit more, and a little bit more, and you'll get along better. That's how a relationship is supposed to be. There will never be a relationship that is perfect from the beginning. You'll have to build it over time, slowly but sure. The best thing in life are not always free. Sometimes you just have to earn it.

2. Compromise is essential

Relationship is about two different individuals decided to be together for the rest of their lives. This means you are merging two different people with completely different lifestyles and personality into one and actually make it work. And that, girl, is a lot of work to do. Every decisions whether it's a lifetime ones or just small ones, you have to make it under your other half's approval. Not that you have to ask permission for every single thing in your life like whether you're okay to eat that red velvet cake you've been eyeing for so long in that bakery, no, but you get my point. Hold tight cause you're climbing aboard the two-way train. It's not about 'me' anymore, it's all about 'us' now. Are you ready for that?

3. Love is not your life solution

I've had a lot of moments where i find myself so lonely and depressed and feeling like a trash and i've always thought that having a boyfriend would be the answer to cure my loneliness. That i love them, and they will probably be 'powerful' enough to help me cure this emptiness inside of me. Turns out, no. A relationship is supposed to be like, how do i say this, an icing on the cake. Which means a relationship is like a bonus to your happy life, that you are living a wonderful life and you decided to let someone enters your life, because you wanted to. A relationship with someone is never an answer to cure or to mend whatever problems you have in your life. Never ever think that way, because you will get super disappointed and you'll probably blame your boyfriend/girlfriend for not being good enough to cure you, and you'll end up being more depressed because you think nobody will be good enough to be your life solution. Remember this: they will never be. No one, will ever be. No one will be 'good enough' for you, because guess what, only you can be your own life solutions. Don't be so dependent, that you have to ask for others' help for your own life happiness. Even if they help you fill your emptiness, it will never be as full as when you decided to fill it yourself. Even if they are there for you 24/7 so that you're not lonely, it will never be as crowded as when you occupy yourself with something you love, and enjoy whatever the fuck you love doing. So don't ever, ever, take a relationship as an exit to whatever problems you have with your life, because they will never be the answer for it. Start from yourself.

Apart from the basics in a relationship like loyalty, honesty, love and everything, i think you need to pay attention to these three points above because i've seen so many relationships (including mine in the past) and most of them had gone wrong because they just don't know how to handle one. So i hope that after reading my post, you'll get a clearance on how you should act when you had decided to be in a relationship, again.


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