A little gift for our first month and many to come.

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On April 10th. Yes, on April 10th.

I got a message from someone. A friend of my co-worker, wanted to be friends with me.
That time i didn't bat an eye, nor i put any attention to this particular person, because i thought, meh, it's just another random guy randomly wanted to be friends with me, or just wanted to waste his time having conversations with a person so he's not bored. And i thought, that time, i was bored too, so i replied. That day, we chatted. We chatted a long time.

Over time, i got to know that this particular person, this random guy i just knew. His name is called Erwan Kainardi. He was born in 25 February 1990. His hometown is in Pekanbaru, and he has two little sisters called Meilita and Awalani. He got a dog, and he's working in Malay in a pulp & paper company. He likes spicy foods, cold drinks and he likes to go to clubs on weekend with his friends. He plays DotA too (just like me yay! plus points for that), and his MMR is 4k+ (impressive! but so what, somebody else got 7k+ on theirs).

Nothing special, just random introductions.

Over time, i realized, this guy was something else. Not only he cares a lot (as a friend), he is also funny, his jokes and mine get along really well and he is also a good listener, over everything i said, and he pays attention to everything and gave me the best advice somebody could give me, ever. And i thought to myself that time. Damn. I think this guy deserves a shot from me.

Days after days passed, me and him get along better and better. I was afraid, to be honest, because it's only a few weeks, but we got along too well already. Is this moving too fast? Is he acting just to win my heart over because, i can't really tell, just by this texting thing. He's too far away, and i can't tell if he's serious with all this thing or not. And i personally, is not ready either if this got serious because, i just got out from a very horrible relationship endings.

But then after 3 to 4 weeks, he came all the way over from Malaysia to Jakarta, just to celebrate my birthday with me, and meet me.

I can't deny. I was incredibly happy and touched and overwhelmed that someone i just met could do such things big step just to meet me. He didn't even have second thoughts, and he didn't even think about all the possibilities that could happen like, what if i reject him, or what if i didn't like him as much when we were texting. He literally just came. And not only that, he even paid the flight ticket twice because the first ticket he bought was under somebody else's name. That determination, damn. Just for me. Gosh.

Before I even realised, i am already head over heels to this guy.

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Then the day came. The day when i am going to meet him for the first time.

Few hours before the meeting, i was so nervous. I can't even describe how nervous i was that time. My heart was racing so fast, my stomach was full of butterflies and i can't even keep a conversations going with my friends when i was on my lunch break. My mind was full of stupid stuffs and what ifs.

What if he doesn't like the way i look?
What if he expected more from me?
What if he's just trying to have sex with me?
What if he's just playing with my feelings?

Too much.

He calmed me down and said, everything will be okay. And i tried to convince myself that it will be.

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The night came.

On May 8th, friday night, on Central Park's balcony, under the shining moonlight and skyscrapers, i met him for the first time.

Few foots away from him, I was already running towards him. I was so happy that, all those thoughts suddenly flew away. I don't care anymore whether he likes me, or he doesn't. I am going to just run towards him and hug him, because I was so happy, I was full of joy. I am finally meeting this guy, this once was just a "random guy" that can steal my heart like nobody else does. I open my arms wide.

I love him.
I love him.
I love him.

That's all i thought.

He looked at me. He smiled.

He opened his arms too, and he receives my hug.

:)

That night i swear.

I could just die in his arms, and i won't even care.

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Over these 10 days, the happiest moment of my life occured to me. He was there with me all the time, and we spent the most pleasant times together. Nobody else exists, and there are only just the two of us in this world.

Just me, him, and the universe.

He gave me the warmest hugs, the softest kisses, the most gentle touch and his eyes. God, his eyes. His mesmerizing eyes. I could stare at them forever. When I look into his eyes, I see a gateway to a world I want to exist in. How did he do that? And the way he stroke my hair, the way he hold my hand. Where were he all this time? If I got to relive my whole life, the only thing I would change is that I would have met him years ago.

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Days after days of happiness and joy, the times we spent together. The highlights of my life. I know it's coming to an end. He gotta fly back to Malaysia tomorrow and run his errands. He keeps saying stuffs like "tomorrow i'm going home, what to do?". To be honest, i have no idea how to answer that either, so i could only give him the sweetest smile i could give.

The truth is, i am scared too.

I am worried, I am as restless as he is, but I don't wanna show it. But I am not going to spend the last few hours by worrying over something that gonna happen sooner or later. Might as well cherish the remaining hours being happy and romantic, rather than being sad. The truth is, I am sad too. I am in pain, knowing that he will never be by my side starting tomorrow. But what to do? I can only pray to God that He could give me strength and patience to go through all this. And I know He will.

The next day when he flew back to Malay, i was at my house. I couldn't send him to the airport, because at that day my mom was visiting me, so I have to keep my mom company. It was better this way because, I don't need to see him walking away from me. But the heartbreak. The pain of missing him. It is as much.

But I promised to him and myself, that this relationship, this fairytale that we are going through, I will continue it; we will continue it even though distance is keeping us apart. Yes, it is going to be very hard and it is going to be filled with pain here and there from missing another person too much, but we will conquer it and we will stand by it anyway. We won't let distance break this relationship that we've grown into. No, not that easy. This is worth more than that.

Guess what?
We did.

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And now, look at us. We have reached a month. A month full of love and passion and misses, a month full of jokes and conversations and love, a month full of feelings to nobody but each other. We went through a month.

I know a month is too much for me to say something so cheesy and gooey like this, but as you know, a little seed is all needed to grow the biggest tree among jungles, a little egg is all needed to hatch the most glorious eagle in the whole wide world. A month, this whole month, is the start for a long wonderful journey that we will overcome later. A month is all needed, to create a wonderful happy ending later on. I know all we need is love to create that wonderful happy ending we all have been craving for.

And I choose to have that happy ending with you.

Yes, you.

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By now, i guess you already know it's you i am talking about. Heh, such stupid statement. Of course you know.

So just let me tell you this.

I love you-- There, I said it. I love you, and you know it's true. Each and everyday all I can think about is you, and no one else. And when i do, my heart stops. It beats so fast, and then it just stops. It makes me feel faint. You make me nervous but calm at the same time. You had turned my world upside down. You had turned every single sad moment of my life into a happy ones. And the most important of all, you made me want to believe again.

I woke up every morning and the first one I think is you. Every songs that i listens to, it reminds me of you. Every love stories that i read, i imagine it was about me and you.

Yeah, you, anyi.

My love for you is undeniable. It's irresistible. It's unevitable. It's just, well, unexplainable.

You have to know that I had dated a tons of guys. More than you will ever count with your fingers, but none of them had ever made me like this, made me wrote something so long and cheesy like this, just for a first monthversary. Yeah, I don't know why I was like this. I guess the only answer to it, is that you made me. You made me like this. You had showed me what is love, what is like to be loved, and now i am going to love you back.

On April 10th. Yes, on April 10th.

God gave me the greatest gift a human will ever have. God gave me love. God gave me hope. God gave me a happy ending. God gave me you.

Thank you, God.
Thank you, you.

Cheers to the first month and many many to come.
Cheers to the first month, and forever.

I love you.


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