#remindertoself

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Hi there pretty daisies C:

Today as usual i am taking care of my mom's mandarin course as well as becoming a receptionist on a very sunny day (but the sky is getting darker maybe it will rain soon) nothing much. Tomorrow i am going back to Jakarta; can't wait to meet my sunshine there C: i miss him so terribly much. A few days of resting and soon i will be working as a career woman.

So anyhow I have a little interesting story to tell.

This morning as I was having brunch on my san yi (third auntie; my mom is the fourth children out of 6 siblings)'s coffeeshop i talked to my da yi (oldest auntie). we had some basic conversations which kinda lead to studying college. She told me that her grandchildren are all studying in Tanjungpinang; my hometown, and she don't want any of her kids to study outside the city, even Batam which is like only an hour of trip from Tanjungpinang.

"Don't want lah. Family all study so far for what if you can study here. Family member all scatter around living alone outside city. Later you die alone there none of your family knows leh. Family members all apart, for what?"

I can only stay silent for the rest of the conversation.

I think it was kinda inconsiderate for her to talk to me like that since i myself was studying in Jakarta; and will keep staying there because I'm going to work there. Umm, excuse me. But don't you think i will be at least a little offended when you talk about how your grandchildren stay in the city to study while I go out there?

Plus it's not just about that.

No offence, but I think parents who won't let their kids go outside the city to work; or study is a very close-minded; selfish parents. I know, of course, the main reason parents won't let their kids travel is because they worry about their children's safety. But it's not like you're letting your 4-year-old kid to travel, hello; your kids are old enough to give birth to a child already. Give them some space and give them the chance to explore what's out there, so at least their point of view and knowledge is not as limited as yours. Our world is like 999999999999km wide, why do you have to stay in a small, stranded city where people don't even know the existence when you have the chance to go to a big city and see what a world actually is? I don't get it.

As if my day wasn't bad enough, my youngest auntie arrived in the coffeshop and kinda brag about how his son is working while studying in a college.

"He worked in a foreign corporate i don't what it's name, but his job is in the office lah, typing in computer don't know what. Work from morning until 2PM, then continue to study at 4PM. He said when he graduate his paycheck can reach up to 5 million leh *in a bragging and happy voice she continues* he says students like him after graduate de paycheck hor should be around 4-5 leh. 4 million is just right lah. Gang gang hao. *i feel like she sort of looking down at my paycheck which is only 4 million since his son have the chance to earn 5*"

Wah lien soi yi a.

Idk what he said to you, but do you think it is a piece of cake earning 5 million Rupiah for a fresh graduate? The actual range for a fresh graduate is NOT that high at all. In fact it is only around 3 to 3.5 million a month. 5 million is like for a super lucky and experienced one; and that is not always available for all the students; I can earn 4 million dou suan hen hao le ler. You say to my face 4 million gang gang hao. Sorry but smlj????

Yes i believe maybe those who major at accounting might get a shot for a paycheck that high on the banks; but majoring communicative visual design like myself; it's not that easy. Even though you have skills; that doesn't even guarantee you to have a big paycheck; UNLESS you have an experience before. smh idk i just; i don't like being compared, you know. I've tried my best. But my best is still not good enough.

This is where i need to remind myself about.

Nobody in my family believes in me. Even my mom said to me "working at Jakarta only 4 million for what? Na lai de qian lai chi, 4 million only na li gou hua zai big city, let alone send money for me". I only got discouragement and negativity from those whom i expect the most to support me.

But thank God i still have my babe; which holds a big part for building my confidence up that always supporting me and keep telling me to believe in myself. He said :

"You can't be negative, no matter how much negativity you get from your family. If you got discouraged, you work your ass off, and show them that what they said all are wrong. Prove to them until they got nothing to say. As long as you work honestly and with full spirit, luck and prosperity will always come to you in any kinds of way."

 Thanks to him i stood right back and believed more to myself that i can do this. You've already gone so far. Why stop halfway and surrender? You gotta prove to them all that you're not impossible; EVERYTHING is not impossible, as long as you strive for it, and believe in it. Which is why this post exists, and which is what i want to tell all of you readers. This will be a reminder to me, and will be a couragement for you all, for those of you who are on the verge of giving up to whatever you work hard for.

Do not give up!!!

Sunshine, you are already halfway there. Stay posi forever and prove to them bitches that they're wrong and tell them to suck their own ass <3


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