Oh how i love the white swan that swims freely above. kinda reminds me of black swan. Nina Portman. Vintage woman. All so gorgeous and le beautiful D:
And why am i using the word "le" whenever i thought words might be cool of i use that in front of it? Geez. I'm getting autism every single day. Maybe it's because this boredom and ennui. Urbandictionary says ennui defines bored in high and critical situation already which will cause death and whatever but i don't care i like to use the word ennui. But oh well who cares anywaysssss. No one even wants to read this piece of shit. If you read it, i'm really really honored. Like throw confetti and say thank you endlessly. Geez what am i saying actually.

So tonight i had a lotta fun. Well actually everytime i'm with Pinge i have a lot of fun since she's a very humorous person and easy-going but anyone has their own bad sides anyways soo yeah. What my point here is i had a lot of fun hanging out with Pinge and friends although my mom forbids me to hang out with them cause they're all pimis. And as pimis i mean *insert password cause it's a bit controversial*. Actually to be honest i'm a bit sad and dissapointed of how my mom is soo racist over some types of people just because of her past or anything that makes her trauma. Not that i'm blaming her, but shouldn't we all be friends without seeing their skin color and ethnic and shits? Cause it's unfair for me and for them to be forbidden like this, i mean we don't even do anything wrong with each other's race or create a din or something but we cannot are forbidden to be friends with each other. Isn't it a lil bit absurb and selfish, don't you think? But oh well i'm not the type of good girl that obeys my mom's every single word anyway. There's one time my mom said to me about the time when she was young, she said this word "the more you forbid me, the more i do it" and i replied "Exactly". LOL you know what i mean right? Like mother, like daughter.

Okay back to the topic. So i had fun. And what else? Okay. Everybody seems to be very interested with what i study in Jakarta and they all are very curious with what i've done there. What i study there. So i showed some of my creations during studying there and everybody seems to be impressed. But honestly i don't think my creation is great :/ And then they talk about Teochew languange, and they all wanna learn a bit or two. They all say to me that everytime they wanna learn Teochew and they ask random chinese people to teach them, they always get a lot of lanciao, cibai, siaunang and such.. No, the chinese people of course didn't scold them. They teach them those words. And this is what makes me very literally pissed off with chinese people here. You got some people that is interested with your languange and you teach them those kinds of words? You stupid or what? You wanna make all the people think we chinese people is uneducated and only knows how to call names is it? Or you want people to think we only know how to act like a gangsta? Stupid leh. VERY. or should i say. Okay lah you know i know we all know that they only interested for a while but at least teach them to speak proper ones, okay. Show them that we deserve a respect from them, cause we respect them too since we give them a good teaching when they ask us about our languange. And even though we didn't get their respect, or they mock on us after we're being good to them, it's their problem and it's them who are bad. Why must give them shit first while they didn't do anything to you at first? No wonder pimis and chins are so hard to live harmonious together. You guys fight over such small shit. Actually if i have to be honest, i'm sick with both of the race though. Although me myself are born with both of that races. How can i not be sick? You guys never shows me any good sides of both of that races.

/le sigh

wow i rant so much shit. Better end here.

I just met Neti, my middle high school best friend after a 238192381239 months of time. She changed quite a lot, her hair is long and curly now, and she can ride a motorcycle; even have a motorcycle now. It's cool, since the last time i saw her she's still a good girl and such. Now she's a big girl now, she even had a boyfriend already and just had their first anniversary. :3 So sweet, yet so making me jelly since i'm single and forever alone now. /Le creyz

Few minutes later imma hang out with Pinge and friends again. It's saturday now, and on next Monday imma go back to Jakarta. Gonna miss a lot of things here, but i can't wait to go back to Jakarta too since i'm gonna have my own computer and i just ordered three new contact lenses. CAN'T WAIT TO TRY IT OUT WEEEEE.

/Le jump around like a crazy batch

okay i think that's enough. A lot of people also say my zits had grown a lot. Oh fuckeries, i don't really care anymore since it's just a temporary shit that sticks on my face. But kinda pissed off too though cause because of the fucking zits i don't dare to approach my cute and handsome little crush ;O

but my friends say be confident, and be yourself. OH WHATEVER IM ENJOYING MY LIFE HERE.


And for the first time ever, i feel that i'm not good enough for him... For my crush..
He's so perfect, so clever, so..
He deserves better than me, but on the other side i want to be his best.
Have you ever felt like this?
This hurt.. and in love feeling?
That scary feeling when you think of him in a relationship with other girl someday..
And that feeling where you feel like you're not good enough for him..
All at once.
Have you?


But i guess my friend is right. I shouldn't fall in love and fall out love that easily..
I look like im kidding people by my feelings.
Let's see what have i become next term..

There is sooo much; too much things in my mind. I just can't keep it off my mind. Too much problems in my head, too much conversation, too much memories to keep inside my small tiny byte head. Some things are meant to keep, and some are just too difficult to say, and some just.. stay in there. Echoing. Winding.

I am already 18. And most of the people the same age as me already done a lot of successful things, and they already start their career by i don't know, start to do what they have been wanted even the smallest things, while i'm still figuring out what to do, or what should i do to pursue my dreams. I just had a conversation with my mom this morning, about career. Since this morning we visited a tailor shop, my mom talked a lot about how she earn lots of money by being a tailor. And she wants me, and my sis to cooperate with her doing any kind of business, even tailor. It would be a big success, she says, as usual. And then she asked me this question. "If i give you some money to start a business, what kind of business do you wanna do?" I stunned by her question, and i don't know what to answer, since that kind of question never crossed my mind. I never thought of having any business, since what i've been dreaming to do is to be a photographer; whether it's a pre-wed one or nature photographer ones. I love taking pictures, and i love to be taken pictures. That's why i only wanted to be a model, or a photographer. So i answered my mom "I wanna be a photographer, i'm not going to use that money", i said. My mom kinda irritated by my answer, and she said in her life she has never seen any successful photographer yet. I went silent by what she said, since what she said is well, i have to admit, quite true. And that makes me think for a while..

What should i do if i be a model or a photographer? Does that kind of career gonna take me far?

And i think i already know what the answer is. So...

I'm currently very confused right here. I don't know what should i do, and what to do in my life. This is all about my future, and if i have to think about it, i have to think about it now. I gonna start from now, like my sister says. But..

Maybe i just think too much? Too much that i don't dare to take a first step?

I don't know...
/le shaking hair






I personally had a lot of fun. At first im a bit awkward with a few of my friends cause we haven't met for a long time but after a while i rock the shit out of it LOLz.



Me with Momo and Raka.



Very unglam photo of me. Shit. My friend shouldn't have took this D:
Now everybody knows i'm a insane bitch when it comes to singing. /Le sighh



Me with one of my besties. I love this pic. Idk why it looks so.. Idk. Noisy and nostalgic. AND YESSHH THIS IS UNEDITEDDD 8D


Last pic to end this post.



And if you're wondering why i wear the same T-shirt when i meet Ika is because i meet Ika and Karaoke with my friends ON THE SAME NIGHT. So yeah. Not because i never wash my clothes stupid.
Okay so this is lame already cause she posted about this too and she already said all of the things we had done during our meeting, but yeaaahh i'm still going to post this event with my own version. If you wanna read her post about us, you can see it here. LOL but it's in Indonesian :3

Her name is Ika Dian Aruna. We all call her Ika. Some of you might already know cause she's like all over the place already luulz xD She's in highest grade of mid school now preparing to enter high school. She's around idk.. Maybe 14, 15. I forgot. And her blog, is here. She's a very sweet girl.. And well uhm, crazy. ;P she's a very crazy and kind person to talk to but when you're in trouble, she's there to help you to the fullest.

Soooooooo yeaahh we promised to meet at around 6:30PM but i ended up meeting her around 7PM D: i'm such a late queen. At first i got lost cause her house is in an alley between 84723847298342 others of alleys so i got lost and she wants me to meet her at some middle high school we both know so when i'm on my way to that mid-school i met her already like she's in glasses, white Tees and shorts but uhh since it's dark and i'm afraid that person might not be her so yeah i didn't call her xD

what's worse she saw me too but she thought i am a boy since i'm driving a motorcycle and i'm wearing a helmet so she just walked away wtf D:<
LOOOL IKAAAAA XD *tampolss*

So to make sure that girl was really her i called her phone, and she came towards me xD
And it's really her who just walked away from me hahaha xD

Then i went to her house. We sat outside her living room, breathing fresh air :D *LOOOL like yeah*

And we just talked. Talked everything that we could talk. About self-esteem, families, blog which is very obvious, and others. I admit, at first i feel very awkward; LOLLLL i just can't control it okay i'm always nervous with new people. But after a few minutes of her warming up the ambience, my nervousness had gone. :D she's a very warm-hearted person, and she knows how to spice up conversation xD me gusta herrrrrr <_____> And ohhh, she's very cute! xD

i really really like her :"D *kamu jangan geer tapiii yaaa ;P*

Then as a typical girl, we camwhore.
Some chio, some just awkwardly fulgy, and some are stupidd xD


A bit blur here but you can see our faceeesss :'D


LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL


She's pretty here :O And LOL my the scream look :'D


AREN'T WE CUTE. ZOMG.


So that's all for the camwhoring section, and yes it's a very good time for me to meet one of my cybermates for the first time :'D
ENVY MEEEE BITCCHEESS SHE RAAAWWWKKSSS.

Can't wait to plan our second meeting 8D

P.S for Ika : Aku ga bakalan cerita tentang abang lo d siniiiiii xP
Lagian abang lo ngeri langsung minta pin BB ama aku =A=

LOOOLLLSSS till then byyesssss

And oh stay tuned for my Karaoke photos with my friends.
Stupid facebook didn't wanna accept my password so i have to reset it =A=

So the password is LOOOL it's encrypted, don't even think about it.

Ohhh KY :'D

Sorry the image quality look like shit. I took it with my phone, you can see me on the left bottom of the photo. hahaha... *awkward laugh* my hunnie looks creepy here. Zomg i feel very guilty. :-|

So that above, is called Mhyr Xieh (zomg do i spell your name right hun sorry T___T). She prefer to be called Lmyx or just Myx. She's from Philippines, and she, is my first cybermate slash friend slash honey . I remember when i was still a noob (although now i'm still one) and she's all new to blogger too, and she said she wanted to have a cybermate friend and i offer myself to be her friend lolz, then i still remember the time when we talk about google adsense thing, then we talked about our own boyfriend, and then i remembered too the time where we broke up with our own boyfriend at the same time, LOL. And we wrote letter to each other (do you read my letter yet, hun? if not try searching it in this post ;P). She's a very fun person if you get to know her enough.

It's funny thinking all the things we had done. :D

And last night, i webcamed with her. On skype. Well, she's my first cymates that i webcamed with. And she's the first one, again! Lulz. We had a lot of fun, and we tell secrets to each other ;D i love her.

Oh and she had made a doodle for me!! Her talent is amazing. Why don't you take an art class, hun? You're great.



I just realized something. I realized that i'm such a coward. So coward that i can't even face my own life. That's why it's pathetic. Somehow feel ashamed, somehow feel grateful. Ashamed that i am already this old, but i still cry over life that no matter what i still have to go through. And i'm grateful that i realized it now, not after i do something too stupid to harm my life. This life, no matter what, i have to go through either way. So either i rock the shit out of it and be a little more courageous, or like a chicken, hide forever. Ika, Clarissa and Suvii is right. I should not get upset by just a small matter like this. I'm too stupid. They will eventually go away anyway, so why i have to be ashamed?

:)

And say hello to my new lullaby.


Hi people. I just wanna show you guys my current nails.
Yes i just paint it. And i laaarrrvvveee it.
Kthxbye.

I need to stop being a bitch. I keep getting jelly whenever i see a gorgeous girl or a successful teenager. Is this even normal, or is it just me?

I kinda blame myself for not being as great as them. I keep blaming myself that my luck is not as great as them. I keep blaming my own life, my whole life has been a shit because of myself and blablabla. Unfortunately i have *censored* so i can't keep up with any of those successful teenagers. Yes i shouldn't be blaming that upon my failure in life, but that really matters a lot. Without those things, i could have been a super model now. Or at least, a local model or something. What the point here is, i really hate myself for being so unlucky. Who can i blame besides myself?

Fuck myself. I've been feeling so emo and suicidal lately. I can't help it. There's literally nothing here that could make me happy or even smile a little bit. All i have here is depression, anger, sadness, patheticness, and well. suicide feeling.

i have nothing. i feel like shit.
Zi lian-ing in this boring saturday afternoon. Turns out i accidentally deleted all the webcam photos i took before i got the chance to upload it so oh well. No photos of me. Nyahahaha
In the other hand lemme show you guys some fail masque photos that my bro took.


Perverted ah-pek with bunny teeth.


WTF face of Virgin Mary.


I'm currently chatting with Suviinthra and Dorminsmon right now.
But they're all busy with their own stuffs too so :-|
Kthanksbye. :B
Just in case you guys gets confused with the title, i'm doing a 10 day challenge thing right now. And i'm doing day 5 and day 6 at once cause i wanna finish this sooner. if you're interested on my previous day challenge, here's the link to day 1, day 2, day 3, and day 4.

Now, it's for

Day 5 : Six of your favorite books.

i personally don't really like reading books, whether it's school books, novel, or even comics. So it's hard for me to say six books that i favorited cause i never like or favorite any books. But if i really had to say a book that gives me impression, imma say my sister's handmade comics. They are all awesome, and have great storyline in it. Oh if only i can show you guys how awesome it is. :D

but i don't even know if her comic is considered a book or not.

Oh well let's just skip to day 6.

Day 6 : Five things you can eat everyday.

Like come on. You ask an eating-monster a food question? Are you kidding me?
  1. Rice. I live in Asia. I live in Indonesia, which people eat rice everyday. If you didn't eat any rice (even just for a lil' bit) you're gonna feel weird.
  2. Getting trickier. I guess imma say snack. Whether it's cookies, or chips, or noodles. Oh come on i eat that everyday! >;O
  3. Chilli. I cannot live without this thing. It gives food a whole new taste and aroma. Mmm NOW IM HUNGRY
  4. Meat. Chicken, fish, or whatever it is, you cannot live a day without them, right? Oh. Except for the vegetarian, of course. :-|
  5. Veggies. Even if you don't like it, your mom must be paksa-ing you to eat it. haha
guess what, i think imma do day 7 too. Since it's about songs that describe my life right now which i also wanna tell about.

Day 7 : Four songs that describe your life right now.

The one and only and the most exact one.



"i dont know if i'll make it, but watch how good i fake it.."
I MEAN LOOK AT THE LYRICS. IT'S SO ME. OH MAI GOD. LOLzz

no need four song. this song already describe me so well. besides the kick-ass lyrics it's fucking catchy too.

******

Besides above songs, lately i'm kinda in love with big time rush's songs and boys too. Especially Logan ;3 THEY'RE ALL SO CUTE. and funneh :'D
i never miss watching their show on Nickelodeon now. Ohmaigash.


From left to right : Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and James. Name based on the film. Idk what's their real name, or those are actually their real names.

SEE. SEE. LOGAN SO HANDSOME. Plus in the film he's the smart type. Of course i'll go crazy for him. AH.

currently i love one of their song called "Boyfriend".
Oh how i wish Mr.B and Mr.K could sing me this song. That'll be like sooo sweet. :'D



Oh and in their film there's a little girl known as Katie (based on Big Time Rush film. Her real name is Ciara Bravo) too. Her character in that film is super smart and cool, or should i say more mature than the boys. LOL she's super cute!! Me gusta herrr <_____>


A damn chio and kawaii face of hers.

******

And then there's another song that i love. Christina Grimmie's song. You know, last time she was just a girl on Youtube singing lots of covers. Guess what, now she had become a famous singer and she already had her first album! *throws confetti for her* No surprise though, since her voice is that heavenly.

I love one of her album song called "Advice". AND OHHEYLOOK! IT ALREADY HAS IT'S MUSIC VIDEO! how Christina become successful in the nick of time makes me give her total respect and amazement.



That's her first music video. At first you'll be like WTF is this, but after you hear it again and again you'll going to understand the meaning of this song and you'll be like "THIS IS THE BEST SONG EVER." i promise.

Oh her other song is super great too. Another one of my favorite song from her called "Ugly". Try search it on Youtube and hear it. Super catchy this one. :D

******

Last song that stuck on my mind. Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO.



There's no particular reason why i like this song though. At first when i hear this song, i thought i would be hatin' it since it's kinda a dubstep song and too much beat. But who knows, now everyday i hear this song over and over and over and over..

No wonder it got into Top 10 song right.

TODAY IS A REALLY SHITTY DAY. NO REST, NO GOOD THINGS HAPPEN, NO ENTERTAINMENT, NO FREEDOM, as always. fucking first day of period makes me so moody, i screamed a lot today. whether screamed to my brother, or sabbath, or just thin air (almost to my mom, too. thank god i still can control it). OH AND GUESS WHAT, I GOT A BONUS TO MY SUFFERING, which is stomach pain, and fucking influenza that makes me sneeze a lot today. my eyes hardly can open and all teary. weather wasn't helping, either. TOO HOT THAT I CAN EASILY MELT. tried to ease my mood by hanging out with my friends tonight, but no effect. still bad mood. SOOO MUCH. or should i say the hanging out with friends thing makes my mood gone worser. somebody fucking say something about my physic; which i don't wanna fucking say here since it's humiliating; and although that person say that to me without any meaning to hurt me, but i still am offended and heartbroken. some people just gonna learn how to control what they say to others. they might think it's okay, but you will never know how much pain you cause to that person you say. maybe the pain will last for days, weeks, years, or eve forever. they just don't know how much it hurts. like when you say to a fat girl "hey you gain weight!" although it's obvious, you'll never know how much pain she'll have by just hearing that few words. maybe even make her become a bullimic, or anorexia, or even suicide by just a few words of those. they just dont fucking understand. those people. those PERFECT AND FLWALESS people. never think other people's feeling.

i don't even wanna talk to anybody today, not even my friends, not even my family. i hate today soooo much that i feel like wanna just jump into a blackhole and never ever come back to this shitty world.

okay so those who are fucking PERFECT people who just read my post here might be thinking that i'm a drama queen already. i make a scene out of something they thought it's "okay" and they think i don't have to fucking make things look this bad. "it's just a normal situation every people should go through" they say, "and with lots of praying and POSITIVE THINKING everything should probably be okay". well if things are as easy as they thought, there wouldn't be a lot of teens suiciding right now. there wouldn't be sooo much low self-esteem teen trying to survive in this nasty world anymore. there wouldn't be sooo much people crying every night thinking what should they do to every sadness and heartbroken they have, and how to fix it. EVERYTHING WILL BE AT PEACE, if they think this kind of situation is okay. THEY JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND, SINCE THEY ARE NOT THE ONE WHO GONE THROUGH ALL THIS. they will never know how people like me, or anybody that have flaws all over feel cause they are fucking perfect. their lifes are just soooo smooth, no problems cause they have what they fucking want, they have the looks, and they have all the money. just say what you want. if you think i make dramas so much, try being me. try going through all this, with a lot of praying and positive thinking like what you say. try being HAPPY, try not to cry. you just don't understand, cause you never know my story. how i feel, and how i've been taking all the nasty stuffs people say to me and still take it with a BIG FAKE SMILE. i bet if you were me, you'll be suiciding already.

and they say again. "try talking to your best friend, or your family, or the one closest to you..". okay then. but how about people who have a broken home, a lot of self-claim "bestfriends" but ended up talking bad behind you? how about the closest one with you is just a cat, which lately try to attack his own master? how?

i know i shouldn't say all these, i know i should try to still live with positive thinking and pray that everything will be okay. i know i should learn to do that. but i just have to fucking spit it all out, what i've been feeling and what i've been suffering here. i can't keep it inside; it's just too hurtful. and i'm tired, you think i never try to at least think positive? NO. i do it all the time. and that's what makes me survive till now. every single time i got broken hearted, i pray and i smile, HOPING that everything will be better, everything will be okay, and i try to believe that God have better plans for me. But guess what? 18 years i've been praying, and still, life still fucking sucks. it doesn't get any better, in fact it gone worse. worser and worser and worser, till i'm too tired to even believe that there's a miracle in this world anymore. really, i'm tired.

i really wish i could be as happy as when i was a kid. carefree. enjoying life, but no. i know my life will never be like when i was a kid anymore.
and no, i didn't cry while writing this post, i'm too tired to even cry anymore.

really, sick of everything. EVERY. SINGLE. THING.

sorry if there's a lot of grammar mistakes. sorry if there's a lot of cursing above. sorry if this post annoys you. sorry if i make you hate me. i just can't fucking think anymore, just can't fucking care anymore.

i just realized how Korea is such a big success in both music and movies.


This morning i watched this movie called My little bride.

IT. WAS. AWESOME.

Boeun (Moon Geun Young) is an ordinary 15-year-old high school girl who worries about grades and has a crush on her school's baseball team ace, Jungwoo. One day, Boeun's grandfather orders her to marry Sangmin (Kim Rae Won) because of a pact he made with Sangmin's grandfather during the Korean War. Despite the grandchildren's opposition, they are forced to marry because of Boeun's grandfather's strong influence. Boeun's undercover married life begins: She pretends that she doesn't have a husband and starts dating Jungwoo. Boeun believes that she can manage both men and live a double life. Everything goes smoothly until Sangmin visits Boeun's school as a student teacher.

Okay i copied that from wikipedia.

But all i want to say is this movie is so good! i give 4.5 stars out of 5. Because this movie is romantic, it's funny, it's sad, and such. After i googled this movie i just realized it's a 2004 movie which is around when i was on middle high. And then i realized again, how Korea is soo good at doing entertainment things like this. And the staaarrss. Look at all the movie stars, and KPOP stars. Why all so chio?

This Moon Geun Young is also this chio. Goddamit why didn't i born in Korea so that i have this perfect face? pftt.


Moon's super chio face.


And oh oh, the boy who played Jungwoo is super handsome!


HE'S SO HANDSOME I'M GOING TO DIE.


i know this is lame and most of you who read this might have watched it already but for those who haven't..

WATCH IT. IT'S WORTH IT.

I didn't expect i could change my layout this drastically. maybe it's just because i'm too tired with my old ones. too plain, too boring, too much drama, cbox got a few bitches bitching too so i replaced it with a new one too. well i guess i go back to vintage style again. wohoo i'm so happy.

mom's getting worse rather than feeling better. i don't know what should i do anymore; all things seems to be my fault, while mom always being naive, always thinks what i do will gone wrong. she never believes me. or anyone else. but then things fucked up. and she blame anyone. anyone. i really can't handle it, but after all she's my mom.

she talks about other kids taking medical faculty in college while i took design and how she say design won't bring me anywhere. well it's quite true, but choosing design as my faculty has been my plan before i enter college, while medical never cross my mind at all. i mean duh, i take IPS leh. besides if you work harder; design might make you successful leh! and then she said how miserable she is because she always dreamed to be in medical faculty and to be a doctor but failed and wants us to get into medical faculty so that she can be happy but then we only dissapoint her cause sis took IT and i took design. and she wants me to encourage bro so that when bro grows up bro can enter medical faculty. FYI my bro just enter middle high this year.

i don't understand this at all. i don't understand, is that only my mom or every single parents wants their kids to have the "dreams" they didn't get while they never even think about their kids' dreams. why do they so self-egoistic? i've seen a lot of this case in TVs, like there's a military dad that wants his son to enter military school cause he's a military general or whatever shit and he wants his son to inherit his career while his son prefers playing music in a band and then the daddy didn't like it and got mad and never approves his son playing music and they hate each other.

why is this happening?

shouldn't parents support what they kids dreams of? shouldn't they let their kids decide what they want in life and then encourage them more? anything could be successful, even those unimportant ones. for example, games. you think games can't get you anywhere, but in fact there's a lot of gamers outside who earned a lot of cash just by playing games and entering battle contest or whatever. and then there's blogging. look at how rich Xiaxue is now! but why parents just can't see the bright side of all these little things?

i just can't get it. sometimes parents can be sooooo soooo annoying. and heart-breaking.
just saying.

P.S : 7icon, that newest girl group in Indonesia's music industry really really really really really really really really really disgust me. Besides copying korean's girl group whether it's 2NE1, or SNSD, or whatever group it is which is totally obvious that they copy KPOP, their song is all auto-tuned. i repeat. ALL. AUTOTUNED. and they are not pretty. not even close to the word pretty. and they have no choreography, and they don't know how to dance, and their voice irks me, really bad. they don't know how to sing properly. i just watched their music video on Youtube which is this link if you're interested to get nauseous and puke, i closed the video on 1:20.. too weak to watch it. can't stand the sound and the video. oh how music industry had gone from good to bad to worse.
I'm in the mood for making tutorials today :3

So well you are a blogger. Night and day. And one day you're thinking "hey maybe i should get a calendar on my blog just to remind me but i don't know where should i get the code", well fear not, this tutorial is going to give you one! 8D

Just past this code to your desired place (ex. sidebar, on top of the page, or wherever)



To change the font : find the word FONT face='arial' above and change arial into your desired font
To change color, add border, and other styles : find style='font-size : 12px; color : #000000;' cellpadding=0 cellspacing=1 above and add any CSS code you want after the word style='
To change the width and height : find the word table width=170px height=170px border=0 above and change 170px into your desired width and height.

If you have any problems, comment on this post :D
i noticed that all bloggers that i follow rarely post anything up now. idk if this is because of school, or holiday, or whatever shit it has to be; what i know is i feel lonely .____. i miss those ridiculous and silly posts they made. LOL no offense though.

well as the title above, today i'm gonna write something that has to do with this thing called FRIEND. there's no need to explain, let alone define what friend is this. we all know so well. but i just can't stand some people that admit themselves as somebody elses' friend while they didn't do or act like one. you know what i mean?

well if i have to sort it out, there's 3 most common types of so-called 'friend' that you wouldn't want to have.

1. A 'friend' that use you.
By the word 'use', i mean using you as a weapon for their enemy, or using you to get close to their crush, or to even 'steal' your popularity if you even have one. This kind of friend usually always sticks with you, but when you really need them, they just fucking ignore you like a piece of trash. well how to see if your friend are this kind of type? well, i don't know. usually you just know it by seeing their behaviour.

2. A friend that BFF's your money rather than you.
Well you know what i mean if you're a rich person or just being generous and people start to use your kindness as an advantage.

3. The worst type of all, they admit themselves as your BFF but in your back they bitch about you.
Honestly, i really hate this kind of friend (although sometimes i am one, oops). I mean if you hate me, just walk away from me. Why do you have to like pretend that you like me and then you bitch about me? What's more, i trust you for keeping all my private secrets, how could you just bitch it out to other people easily like that? How would you feel if people you trust betrays you like that? Right?

Anyone wanna add some more of this self-admit friend type?

If no, imma give solutions to avoid this type of so-called 'friend'.

Trust no one but yourself.


well you might not agree with my opinion but this is what i think. befriend with anybody, but don't trust them like you trust yourself so much. you won't know when will they betray you.

"oh they won't betray me i know them so well blablablabla and other shit.."

remember, people change.

Solutions for those who already involved with these kind of people?

Just walk away from them.

There's no need to explain much to those kind of people yet alone bother to change them into 'nicer' ones. They done it once, they got advantages, they will do it again. so yeah.

Yeahhh umm i think that's enough ranting nonsense for today.

Don't comment shit such as "you're wrong blah blah blah" cause i'm sick of it.
It's my opinion, bitch.



Me, mom and my bro was having durians just now when Sabbath my lovely cat came towards us and ask for some. I brought one for him and look at how he eats it in an instant!








Here's a 3 minute clip of him eating the durians.



Sorry for my perverted laugh D;
Sabbath was licking my finger and it tickles so yeah xD


it's funny how every time when you don't have anything to do you spend your time on the computer trying to spit something from your mind out to your blog but there just nothing comes out from your mind and there's nothing to say about your daily life cause it's just too boring and there's nothing special happen in your life

and you just spend the whole fuckery day in front of monitor and stalk some other people's website and go jelly and then after that you go all emo-ing because you wanna be as famous/busy/successful as her/him but you just can't cause you have no life.

after that you just stuff yourself some hi-fat food like chips and fries and when night comes you just go to sleep and try to survive the boredomness the next day.

don't you feel like it's too pathetic?
This i dedicate to a friend of mine who had been through all this time with me whether it's sad or happy times. Since i wanna express it all out i'm going to use Bahasa Indonesia. :)

Semua berawal dari masa SMA ku. Aku sekelas dengan dia, Siti Khalifah, dan menurut aku aku beruntung banget bisa sekelas dengannya, karena kalau bukan takdirku dengannya, ga bakalan ada hari ini. Jadi pada awal sekolah, kami cuman kenal gitu-gitu aja. Jangankan deket ato akrab. Ngomongpun jarang. Soalnya tempat duduk kami berdua lumayan jauh dan aku ada temen sendiri, diapun ada temennya sendiri.

Ga begitu ada interaksi di antara kita berdua..

Agak pertengahan kelas 1 SMA, aku mulai berbaur dengan anak-anak dalam kelasku termasuk dia. Cewek-cewek dikelasku mulai bergabung jadi 1 dan saling deket satu sama lain, dan aku, dia, pinge (salah satu temen baekku yang belum ak cerita betapa awesomenya dia), viol (ini juga temen baek aku yang belum sempet aku ceritain, kapan-kapan deh, pasti ada), ama harni (a.k.a mithek, pokoknya pada awesome semua deh) mulai ngumpul bersama, dan semakin lama semakin dekat kami berlima.

Aku masih ingat betapa Siti menangisi mantan kekasihnya, sebut saja Y dan betapa dia mencintai lelaki itu. Sebetulnya sayang, kalau boleh jujur, dia tuh ga pernah dan ga akan pantes buat orang sehebat kamu.

Lucu sih denger cerita cinta dari masing-masing temenku itu, termasuk dia. Rasanya ada perasaan puas dan lega sendiri mendengar curahan hati mereka satu per satu, karena mereka masih mempercayai aku untuk menjaga rahasia cinta dan keluh kesah mereka.

Naek kelas 2 SMA, siti dan harni masuk jurusan IPA, sedangkan aku dan yang lainnya masuk jurusan IPS. sedih sih karena berpisah, tapi perpisahan kelas tidak membuat persahabatan kami memudar. bahkan semakin jauh jarak kami, semkain dekat rasa persahabatan kami karena kami bisa merasa betapa pentingnya seorang sahabat di sisi kita.

Makin lama hubungan kami semua semakin dekat. Karena iseng, akupun kasih panggilan buat masing-masing. Aku dipanggil cece karena aku chinese sendiri HAHAHA, viol dipanggil mbak karena dia paling medok, harni jadi mithek, karena waktu itu rambut dia cowok banget, dan gaya dia mirip mitha the virgin. pinge dipanggil kakak karena dia dewasa dan yang paling bisa bikin kita ketawa dan tenang, dan si siti dipanggil dedek, karena dia lah yang paling manja, paling cengeng, dan paling susah jaga diri sendiri kalo udah urusan cinta. hahaha. xD

iya dia juga yang paling muda di antara kita. -______-

sebetulnya selama waktu berjalan ada beberapa orang yang sempat deket ama kita berlima, tapi since mereka come and go kayak pemeran figuran, aku males mo cerita.

jadi begitulah hubungan aku dan siti semakin dekat. naik kelas 3, hubungan kami semua udah kayak hubungan kekeluargaan. saling membantu, saling berbagi, dan saling menyayangi satu sama lain. tidak ada satupun yang bisa bikin kami berlima jauh, sampai akhirnya kenyataan bertindak dan kami semua sudah harus lulus SMA dan menjalani hidup kami masing-masing.

aku ke jakarta kuliah, viol ke solo, mithek k batam, dan pinge siti tetep di pinang, melanjutkan kuliah mereka di UMRAH.

masing-masing dari kami juga sudah mempunyai temen pengganti yang baru, karena kami semua udah bener-bener terpisah oleh jarak jauh, bukan lagi jarak perbedaan kelas, tapi udah perbedaan kota.

yaaaaaaaaaa sebetulnya ga ada apa-apa sih, cuman inti dari post ini yaaa... aku cuman pengen dia tau kalo selama ini dia adalah sahabat yang bener-bener terbaik, karena dia ada pas aku bener-bener terpuruk dan sedih, dia ada pas aku lagi butuh tempat untuk mencurahkan isi hati.

bukannya sahabatku yang lain ga cukup best, cuman yaaa menurutku siti beneer-bener yang terbaik di antara yang terbaik aja, karena selain sifatnya yang baik dan ga gampang marah, dia juga menjaga sahabat dia dengan baik. :)

intinya ya, aku sayang siti, aku ga mau persahabatan di antara kita pudar begitu aja, apalagi cuman karena alasan yang ga jelas.

hehe. :)

sebetulnya masih banyak yang mau aku omongin sih, tapi entah kenapa tiba udah blog malah blank HAHAHAHAHAH

pkoknya siti, viol, pinge, mithek is the best.



that silly girl camwhoring with me.


irreplaceable friendship. ZOMG but there's no mithek here nuuuuu ;(
Good day, all readers of this blog of Susan Dwiasmorojati.
On behalf of Susan, I, her once and always good friend am very sorry to say that Susan, our beloved blogger had passed away because of heavy sickness she had last time..

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GOTCHA.
I'M BACK PEOPLE!!! anyone miss me?


LOL okay sorry for freakin the shit out you guys. i just wanna make you guys scared ;P
trololol.

okay so i was gone for A WEEK. that was quite a long time. well i don't want this either! at least i'm back ;O

How is my health?

well to be honest, the moment i posted my previous post i was quite okay already cause i already vomit all the shit out. after i had dinner i recovered already. sorry to worry you guys so much :O
i didn't mean to either.

How is my mom's health?

well it's quite a long story. she's okay now, but she's still recovering. she's still weak. that's why i'm not at jakarta now.
i'm currently at Tanjungpinang.

i went back to my hometown yesterday wohoooooooooooo 8D

i have to go back home with my mom to take care of her. that's why.
but LOL in the end i had fun with my friends instead =A=

oh well HAHAHHAA.



CAMWHORING WHILE ON THE WAY TO AIRPORT.


i notice that my English had gone fucking rusty too because i didn't blog as much as i did before anymore.
i didn't talk much with my cymates too ;(

ZOMG I SHOULD START TALKING ENGRISH OR ELSE MY ABILITY TO SPEAK ENGRISH WILL EXTINCT NOOOOOOOOOOOO

P.S / should i do exchange links?
and i'm thinking of changing my layout cause i'm very bored of it.. got any ideas?
NOTE : I do not own this blogger reaction buttons. I only modify the code a little bit so that classic template users can use it. All credits is still to blogger.com, our best host for blogging.

Have you ever felt like wanting to have a reaction button like facebook's like button on your classic template, only it's a plain one and you can change the word LIKE into something else?

2 years ago blogger created this reaction buttons that can get you one click feedback from your readers. But unfortunately, blogger only created it for upgraded template ones, while classic template users can't have that kind of advantage. Since most of the bloggers i know is a classic template users, i decided to find that piece of code and modify it a little so that classic template users can use it as well as upgraded template users. Here is what the code looks like on upgraded template :

<span class='reaction-buttons'>
<b:if cond='data:top.showReactions'>
<table border='0' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='100%'><tr>
<td class='reactions-label-cell' nowrap='nowrap' valign='top' width='1%'>
<span class='reactions-label'>
<data:top.reactionsLabel/></span> </td>
<td><iframe allowtransparency='true' class='reactions-iframe' expr:src='data:post.reactionsUrl' frameborder='0' name='reactions' scrolling='no'/></td>
</tr></table>
</b:if>
</span>

What i am going to do here is to take the iframe code from above, and add some margin and padding and a little bit of change for the font family. Here is the result :

<iframe style="margin-bottom: -4px; margin-top: -2px;" width="90" height="19" allowtransparency="true" class="reactions-iframe" name="reactions" src="http://www.blogger.com/blog-post-reactions.g?options=%5BLike%5D&textColor=%237f7f7f#<$BlogItemPermalinkURL$>" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe>

The code above will create something that look like this :



text in green is where you style your iframe. In this code above i set the margin bottom -4px and margin top -2px, while width i set it to 90px and height to 19px.
text in red is where you decide what word you wanna choose to put on your reaction button. You can change the word Like into something else like "I LIKE THIS!" (like Xiaxue's) or "useful" or others. You can also make it more than one reactions too like Blogger in Draft's blog!



All you have to do is to add coma (,) and plus (+) on every of your reaction word. For example you want to use the word "like", "very dislike", and "meh". Then all you have to do is write like this :

options=%5Blike,+very+dislike,+meh%5D&

And voila, that should do the trick. You can have reaction buttons now.

If you have any questions and problems with this reaction button, comment on this post :)
Happy blogging~
ZOMG just when things can't get any worser than having my mom sick on Jakarta instead of having fun with her, I GOT FUCKIN SICK TOO. just happened this afternoon when i ate Nasi Padang down and few minutes later my body started to rash and my heart beats like crazy. i think i got seafood allergic but strangely it never happens to me before. well it's probably the non-hygienic food, i guess. So i slept for a few hours and the rash is gone but instead of recovering i got a headache and i am really nauseous.

I ended up throwing up 4 times. It was torturing, sickening, hurtful, dreadful, can't even describe the feeling.

I feel so guilty cause i'm sick while my mom haven't recovered yet though. But who wants this too? Count me sue loh.

And now i still feel very nauseous. Wanna throw up but got no more food to throw up. Feels like better off die goddammit. Hope mom and i get well soon.
what a fail start of July. It was supposed to be fun cause it's my term holiday but turns out sucks to the max. My mom is super sick, and all plans were cancelled and we all spend our days on hospital instead. This July is bitchy, i wonder what can get any bitchier than this. Hope July gets better.

Can't help but write some shits here although there's no much to update about. I miss my blog so much. I miss all the kick-ass cymates too, but unfortunately i really don't have time to visit their blog. OMG don't wanna sound exaggerate but i feel like wanna cry. Blog is so my life. ⇦ (ppssshhh dork much. but i don't care. keep hating, fuckers.)

Oh yeah btw my exam results are finally out. Thank God i still reach a 3 on my IP.


NOKODE MKNAMA MATA KULIAHSTATUSKREDIT(sks)NILAI(H)NILAI(N)ANGKA KUALITAS(sksN)KET.
1 DK12152 DESAIN DASAR II - 4 B 3.75 15.00  
2 DK12162 MENGGAMBAR DASAR II - 3 B 3.08 9.24  
3 DK12172 MENGGAMBAR EKSPRESI II - 3 B 3.90 11.70  
4 DK12211 APRESIASI SENI RUPA DUNIA - 2 C 2.63 5.26  
5 DK13101 DESAIN KOM.VISUAL I - 4 B 3.01 12.04  
6 DU11014 PENDDKAN AGAMA BUDHA - 2 A 4.00 8.00  
7 DU11031 PENDDKAN KEWARGANEGARAAN - 2 D 1.59 3.18  
8 DU11181 DASAR-DASAR KEWIRAUSAHAAN - 2 C 2.12 4.24  
JUMLAH 22     68.66 IPs :3.12

Last semester i got 3.15 for my IP. now i got 3.12. pretty dissapointing cause my IP decrease instead of increasing, but reaching 3 is fortunate enough for me already despite that fucking D on my Kewarganegaraan subject.

Fuck you, dosen. I still hate you like i did before. Watch me get an A next semester and i'll prove you wrong you mothafucka.
actually i'm supposed to be asleep right now, but for the sake of updating my blog, i will update a bit about my mom's visit to Jakarta..

not something to be happy about though, cause instead of having fun, my mom got a problem with her health..

27 June 2011, Monday
My mom just arrived! We all so happy. Since she went to Malacca first before coming to Jakarta and it's been a tiring week for her, we all let her rest today. :D

28 June 2011, Tuesday
My sister went to work, so i'm responsible for taking Mom to have fun. So i brought her to the nearest mall which is Central Park and Taman Anggrek. We went to Central Park's art gallery first and head off to Taman Anggrek's timezone :D

FAIL. actually i'm the one who had fun the most though :(
Mom look exhausted.

29 June 2011, Wednesday
PUBLIC HOLIDAY!! Sis didn't have to go to work so we head off to Plaza Senayan :'D
the reason Sis bring us there is that the mall has Kinokuniya in it and we all love books (especially Mom and Bro) so yeah :D
we ended up buying a lot of books and spent Rp 1.400.000+ on it HAHAHAH (around 200 in SGD and 493 in Malaysian Ringgit)

LOL but at least we had fun reading a lot of books :'D

Then we watched movies, we watched Insidious.

Photobucket
Just by posting this cover on myblog gives me the chill.


It's a damn scary movie i tell you. Don't wanna do spoiler, just watch it. It will forever gives you nightmares if your mental is not strong enough. I said so because i feel that way -___-
OMG I WATCHED IT ON WEDNESDAY BUT TILL TODAY I'M STILL SCARED AND I THINK FOREVER WILL BE D;

yesshh i'm a very timid person .___.

JUST WATCH IT. YOU WILL NEVER REGRET IT. OR MAYBE WILL.

Mom start feeling unwell.

30 June 2011, Thursday
on 04:00 AM, Mom's stomach start aching. Don't know what's the cause, she start hurting until night comes. pretty long time for a stomachache. then after aching for too long her outer stomach skin hurts. idk what is happening seriously. everybody is panicking.

1 July 2011, Today
Mom still hurting. Sis suggest to go to hospital but Mom refuse to. But in the end mom finally agrees to. Then around 07:00 PM we arrived at Sumber Waras hospital near my dorm and Mom got hospitalized. :(

Till now we still don't know what cause Mom hurts so much but tomorrow they gonna do some monitor thingy on my Mom's stomach. I hope they cure Mom soon. :(

I'm really worried for her. Hope she get well soon. :'(
Poor Mom.

******


Sorry for the tags and comments that i didn't reply though. It's just that i'm too busy taking care of my Mom to even go online as usual and have a chat i hope you guys understand :'(