worried.

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today i can't seem to calm down at all.
well i've tried, but i can't.
there are a tons of things swirling and twirling at my mind.
i don't know how to put it.
well i think i say it one by one, ay?

First, it's obviously about my college bank. Sis hasn't checked it! i can't believe it. I was suppose to know it now, and if it got something wrong i can deal with it tomorrow in the morning by going to campus. Gee, sis. way to make me worried so much. :/

Second, ehhm. i don't know if i have to say it or not since everybody can read it? but i am in holiday and all my best friends are far from me now, i guess i say it to you.
Honestly i'm still not sure whether me and Kevin are going to workout or not. i mean look. my mom is a total racist and he's a pimi. if i don't wanna put my self in a lot of trouble i can let him go now. but the truth is, i can't. you see we've been together for 1 year or more. i can't possibly just break up with him and let him go just like that after what we've been through? (seriously, don't ever say "oh c'mon it's just 1 year only" to me! you don't know how much pain and hard times we've been through this year) i don't know. i love him. but i'm afraid to disobey my mom. after all she is the one who gave birth to me.

Third, still our relationship, but with other reason.
you see i got a friend here, who has been in a relationship for 3 years. they are so popular, they got a lot of blessings from people. while me and Kevin? no. uh well at least we have a few who supports our relationship but not as much as them. i admit i kinda jealous. why they have like almost all pinang people blessing them while me and Kevin not? is it because we're different in race? or because we don't date as long as them, or because they're both good-looking while me and Kevin not? is it because you guys think we only date for fun? or is it because... oh well i don't wanna say it anymore. no matter how few people bless us, i promise myself this relationship will last like 10000 years until we die so you people can see how truly loving we are.

Fourth, why can't people in pinang get over with pimis and not racist?
i got this chin friend who always says to me about how she don't like me dating with piis.
like, come on, you're my friend. i know you want me the best but this is my choice. no matter how you know me well, i know my self the best. why can't you just approve what i chose instead of objecting it and alway try to talk to me about how bad pimi is?
well, i admit some pimis are unbearable but well duh open your mind. not all pimis are like that, okay. same goes to mom. i wish i can talk to her about how she should open her mind to pimis. come on, please. no racist please!!

Fifth, i don't like people who got popular and go cocky.
you know, sometimes there are some people got to make something awesome and then when they became popular they don't wanna share their awesomeness with people and sometimes if someone does something a bit same like them they claim it as theirs and say people are copying them. i know you guys are proud but please i hope you guys can respect people too. i know you don't want people to copy you but come on, what in this world is not made of copy? you say some art is original, for example like Da Vinci drew a human or idk, some kind like that. sure he is the first one who draw a human but that doesn't mean he's original! i said that because he drew a human from looking at a real human too, so he drew what he's seeing, not from his own mind, right?
so for me, nothing in this world is original.
people claim that because they wanna make it special only.

well i guess all my things that bothers me the most is written here.
not mentioning others that are not written but i think that's all.
i don't wanna stress out myself too much.
and it's 11pm here already, i guess imma try to sleep.
but like yeah right.


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