sad , sick , and tired .

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i woke up this evening on around 7 pm , and i looked at my phone .
no sms from him .
how come he can ignores me like that while i`m always hoping that he`ll text me ?
while im dreaming i dreamt about him ,
and him ,
and him ,
and him ,
and HIM .
and then when i woke up i realize i really miss him . alot .
is he missing me like i miss him ?
.......................................................
problems keep coming between us .
i cant believe for 1 whole month JUST BEFORE OUR ANNIVERSARY our relationship was ruined because of something unimportant .
i wonder whats he thinking ?
how come he just easily like , get mad and emotional of something ?
i dont understand .
i dont understand how he look and treat this relationship .
i wanna understand him but ,
he`s just too difficult to understand ..
i`m not blaming him for everything that happen between us .
i`m at fault too .
but you see , he`s always the one who creates argument when everything goes alright ..
i try to ignore it , but i can`t .
....................................................
is he the right one for me ?
well this question keep coming to my head .
is he the one ?
is he the one that can make my life happier ?
is he the one that willing to go through all the sadnesss and happiness in my life with me ?
as far as whats happening now ,
i really cant answer that he`s the right one ..
the only one ..
cos i cant deny ,
he often makes me cry , although now i cant really cry because i live together with my sis .
but he makes me go depressed .
he makes me stressed up ,
and what makes me decide harder if he`s the one is strangely , i love him .
i love him very mych ..
somehow deep down in this heart i love everything about him .
or maybe something about him , that i can`t find it in other guys .
just like eminem`s one of the lyrics , i love him too much to walk away now ..
i really can`t decide what should i do now .
i`ve tried to break up with him ,
twice ,
but i can`t ,
it`s just making me more depressed cos i can`t concentrate doin` anything ,
i just think of him , and him ..
but if i keep together with him ,
i have to accept everything that happens between us .
like he make me cry , or break my heart , or whatever ..
idk which should i choose .
i really am confused .
what should i do ?
what ?
i really am so so tired ..
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