i can't believe after several times of changing skins i change back to the old ones again D:
idk, i feel very comfy when i use this skin. although the pink fucking annoys me but i like it sooo much! xD
but yeah that BGs soon gonna gone though :|

tonight imma have new year's eve with sis and some of her friends xD
can't wait to go out and have fun, after 2 weeks or more staying inside my house and never go out except for buying food. T___T
eeekkhh!!! now i hate the sun.

after a looong looong time of dead site, i can't believe i still got a gift from other bloggers! and award too! omg :O

i will present the award first :

1. Thank and link to the person who awarded this award
Thanks Audrey, you are a sweet little girl for giving me this cute and glamorous award :3

2. Share 8 things about myself
I am a 50% chinese and 50% javanese
I stare the computer for almost 24hours
I am lazy and kinda sloppy :(
I can't live another day without cats
I have a pink backpack with catprints on it. :3
I eat very slow
I'm moody
I love to hangout with my bestfriends. err, current bestfriends.

3. Pay it forward to 8 bloggers that I've recently discovered
Char & Nina
Lmyx (you have to be in my list >:D)
Miho Octobergloom

4. Contact those bloggers and tell them about the award.

done. :D and now for my goft, from Nellawly :3 oh cute name btw hahaha

it reminds me of my bewie :3
i feel like wanna change my templates again. after only few minutes of changing.
what happen to me? D:
you know what, blogger.com/template-edit.g?blogID=7772095118487757370 has been the most visited website in my browser now! omg it's like a drug to me D:
changing layout like crazy.
maybe it's a new disease? maybe i should call it changing-layout syndrome? D:
WTF noooooo this is seriousss D: D:
and im feeling like wanna spam a lot to my blog. idk why, just wanna spam.
i'm thinking about my followers though. poor them, all their dashboars it's fully loaded by me only. ):
it's been better now, you know?
when i got no followers i spam like every minutes wa.
that's an issue i should consult to a phsyciatrist though.
how do i spell psychyatrist? how should i write that OMG D:
well first of all, tumblr is waaaay more fun cos all you blog about is picture, second, you can post whenever you want and whatever you want without hearing people's rants. well i think imma get back to mah tumblr now.
hello everyone. surprised or fed up? i don't know this is my which time changes but i do change my blogskins a lot, ay? :D
yeah, sorry. my eyes are soo itchy. can't seem to stay with only 1 blogskins.

new year is almost up.
i already can hear people playing with fireworks.
LOL that's fast though, cause new year's eve is still tomorrow.
save your fireworks for tomorrow dude. it ain't saving global warming.

btw i am active on tumblr and twitter now. kinda abandon facebook and blog but sure i still play with it. :D
if you guys have those two accounts please do visit and follow, kay?
Loves xoxo
follow my tumblr ?
went back after seeing few tweets of friends saying about their scores..
then when i went back i saw this :

1DK12151DESAIN DASAR I-4B3.5714.28 
2DK12161MENGGAMBAR DASAR I-3C2.828.46 
5DK12201PENG. SENI RUPA & DESAIN-2*0.000.00 
7DU11081BAHASA INDONESIA-2C2.525.04 
8DU11151BAHASA INGGRIS-2A4.008.00 
JUMLAH20  42.08IPs :2.10

*throws confetti*
that's unexpected though cos English lecturer are sooo fussy and he is stingy when it comes to giving points T___T
LOL i mean how can it not be, last middle term exam i got 6 from him wa. D:
dammit loh.
and now im twittering with some of my friends about their scores. :P
seeing them talking about their bad scores makes me a lil' proud of my scores LOL.
but there's only 2 left. and those two, i can't really sure if they gonna be good grades cos yeah, both of them im very bad at it. =____=
either ekspresi nor sejarah vikom will get a remedy.
i guess. but i hope not D:
who wants a remedy.
1DK12151DESAIN DASAR I-4*0.000.00
5DK12201PENG. SENI RUPA & DESAIN-2*0.000.00
8DU11151BAHASA INGGRIS-2*0.000.00
JUMLAH2013.50IPs :0.68

this table was taken from the university website itself. so yeah a bit disturbing cos the width is wayyy too wider than my blog but i guess it's ok :/
madesu abis, liat gak? dua2 nilai yas aku udah keluar, dua2nya C.
C!!! sialan. masak cuman pas2n. gak ada Bnya gtu?
seumur idup aku belom pernah dapet C. (karena biasa langsung nilai haha)
tapi skrg! i have to face this cruelty D;
whyyyy whyyyyy
better study more next semester
OMG WTF aku ada jerawat super gede banget dibagian dagu kiri T___T
masi putih, baru aja mekar. what the hel how am i gonna face the world.
mana new year eve benrat lagi sampe, keluarnya ama temen2 kakak lagi D:
just went to friendster.com to have a look at my old friendster account.
ahh, those days.
you try to look as cool as possible compare to the other friendster user and try to be a gothic person as possible and and oh, try to have as many friends as possible at your friendster account so that you will look very popular. lol so kiddo :D
i was trying so hard that day i took a lot of strange pics that i edited so hard i look very weird. :P
but compare to now me in the past is waaay prettier, well at least no pimples :(

lol, i still remember some of friendster users that i like so much, one of them is called J.C and boys fuck boys, but now bfb* (just call it that way) is inactive now :(
idk why, maybe she has deactivate it or whatever :(
shame though cos i love her so much xD
she's so cool LOL
J.C is still active though :D if you wanna see it just click here.
i try to find them at facebook but no results though. :(
they didn't put any facebook links in friendster too so i cannot find them, well maybe they do put it but i can't log in to my friendster cos i had forgotten my email and password so i only can see their private profile D;
sucks though.
anyways life has go on now though, i hope they have a better and of course cooler life than before :)
i hope someday my life will be better too :(

here's J.C pic :

and here's my pic, 3 years ago when im still using friendster D:
uhh sorry for the blurry pic, that's my edit 3 years ago =__=
still nokia's edit application hahah silly me

and FYI, this is me NOW. i know, i had a lot of pimples and wrinkles D:
life's been a shizz to me kayss, no pressure! D:<

midnight posts FTW. :D

another posts people, since i don't really have life due to this holiday. this posts was supposed to be talking about Indonesians fighting with Malaysians on Twitter using #crapindonesiansdefending and #MalaysiaCheatLaser but since the match it's over there's no more to discuss about, kays? :D
i kinda watched the match at the last few minutes. sis got home and turned on TV cable on computer which i dont know at all it can actually work! D:
but since it's very hard to pasang i don't blame sis nor me for it.

Indo lost. Malay won.

i realize Indonesians play very slowly, you know? like they think too much when they got ball on their feet so it's kinda easy for Malay to steal. but still it's good match. sis said i screamed a lot while i watch lol. idk, just pek chek loh, what kind of match is that lah, i mean they move very slow, like there's no big deal while supporters are screaming like hell and fight at twitter =.=

btw after watching football match i was decided to posts this posts but since internet's slow i played Mortlake mansion. it's kinda fun, but yet intriguing. if you like hidden objects game i recommend you this game woh :)

the link's over here, dude.
too lazy to post some pics about it.
thou links i gave you only shows the info about the game. if you are really interested on downloading it you can google up "Mistery Of Mortlake Mansion torrent". what's a torrent? it's a fast download application for PC. you can download it for free too. if you want of course.

btw i already got New Year's eve plan yaaay!
i'm going out with Gema, Tiiqa, and Amos, sister's friend.
although i am not really close (which i can say they are still my acquintance) but okay lah, better than staying at home.
sis can't join because of her work. but later when watching fireworks at Ancol or Monas she will come.
Gema is paying me dimsum, due to his date with sis! lol :D
i said it's PF loh, pajak jadian.
it's rules for people who just got steady, they must pay us close friends eat or at least some drink lah. LOL it's a tradition! :P

talking about New Year's eve i remember few years ago. i spent two new year's eve in a hotel room, just watching fireworks from window.
wow, no negative thinking, i was with my mom and stepfa and bro. i was accompanying stepfa to see his medical something.
so yeah, sad. :(
then last year i stay overnight with Kevin BBQing with pinge and sengkek, his ex-boyfriend and other friends which makes me sadder cos now all of us are separating and me is arguing with Kevin now, which only breaks my heart just by thinking of it.
so yeah i hope although i spend this new year's eve with someone i hardly close i hope it will turn out to be good though. :(
my life has never been good. you know?
kinda sad when i think about it.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"

i am so down right now. can't watch football, not texting with Kevin, internet slower than snail, got nothing to do.
just staring computer facing slow internet plus people screaming about football now. (especially my dormitory auntie, i tell you she screams like everytime Indo is close to goaling. LOL what's more her screaming is soo high pitched i almost died hearing it)
what the hell lah, i just can spam my blog which of course will drive my followers away.
sorry, people. if you disturbed by my posts you can unfollow me. i don't mind :)
what makes me down the most is how ignorant he is to me.
i don't know what is happening to him over there, what i think i know is he looks like he dont need me anymore.
i don't know, maybe he already got my substitute which is that biatch?
we'll never know.
i commited a long distance relationship here, anything could happen.
he promised me he would be faithful to me or whatever shit that usually said when building a relationship. so far he had never betray me before, well exclude that he admit he stared at girl's boobs before, but he never like, how do i say that? affair.
but i believe him. i hope my belief brings me good results.
pphhhss i am spamming nonsense again. spam spam spam :(
today was supposed to be a good day for me, turns out not. Kevin and i havent talk like alot of hours because of that issue, and internet still fucks the shizz out of me. tonight are the final of malay and indo at jakarta, but i cant watch, and instead of watching i am here, facing computer waiting the fucking internet to fucking load like hell. what's wrong with me?
my pimple's are outta control. there's 2 at my right cheeks, uncountable at forehead, and there's a big one at my chin. i dunno, i'm too tired maybe?
mom's making me afraid also. she's been haunting me lately with calling me lots of times.
idk, i think this new year's eve will be the worst one of my life. sis can't accompany me too, she hangs out with her work colleagues. fine. if no one can accompany me, i just sleep.

seriously, i need someone right now.

after 1 year almost 3 months of relationship he still don't understand what kind of person am i.
am i that pathetic i have to be compared to your fucking little girl classmate that reminds you of your college schedule all the time?
if she worth comparing to me like that then GO WITH HER ASSHOLE, broke up with me, take her as a girlfriend and see how much she will "CARE" for you.
look at how long she will last like that.
i dare you to commit relationship with her as long as us, if you can then she's only a bitch that you misunderstood for!!!
i hate you, i hate you so much.
you have been comparing me with her for days, HOW SPECIAL SHE IS TO YOU, HUH?
is she that fucking adorable???!!!
if you wanna compare me to her again you might as well go date her, not me!!
that bitch too, imma find out who you are, just wait you bitch.
so fucking bitchy, still seduce my man when you already know my man already have girlfriend.
so furious right now,


btw i've joined char & nina contest. it's kinda fun and challenging, compare to the other contest who just judged by blog's appearence which i will never win. =.=
if you wanna join, click here to go to their website and read the rules and condition. :)
finally i changed a new lay, after only 3 days of time using a simple and white skin, kinda can't stand it already. too plain. LOL :P
i kinda make a spacey themed cause i never have one before. after hours of customizing and fighting slow kissing internet i finally made one, turns out to be very satisfying, i love it, especially the shadowy effect on my content part. kekekek :D
hope i'll use this skin for a long time though. i love it.
err, actually i did say i love every skin of mine, do i? =.-
but in the end still bored and changed it hahaha.
btw this cute curly girl pic beside every post of me is manually drawn and made by ME. so i do not need to credit, just in case you guys moron ask me to credit here and there.

btw sorry for not replying all you guys tag kay?
internet's been a very big dick to me and very slow, so i kinda have problems surfing the internet, even playing audition. =.=
damn you internet, wish i can slap you right in the face, if only you have one.

hhmm 2 days more till New year, huh?
what are you guys resolutions?
and what are you guys planning for celebrating it?
me? i still have no plans, i think i just spend the night sleeping at home. =__=
hahaha sobs, can't do anything wa. all my friends are pulang kampong already and Kevin's are preparing for his final exam so no one can accompany me. :'(
Sis definitely is going out with her friends soi i think imma stay alone in the house. geee.
forever alone is kinda haunting me now. huaaaa

ehh btw i forgot to tell you people, my background is 300++ KB so is kinda hard to load for those whose internet is slow, kay? so be patient, or just leave me a tag and go.
and since you guys are soo unfortunately unfortunate and can't see my blog perfectly, i screenshotted it for you guys.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
click to enlarge, babe.
i stole it from adenine :P

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
- Wow, a lot. im like growing so of course i did alot of things i had never done before.

2. Did you keep your last year’s New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for this year?
- I dont really have new year resolution. :| umm but i'll try on 2011! looks fun :D

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
- nope.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
- nope.

5. What countries did you visit?
- Jakarta :D

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
- a lot. Blackberry, camera, red contact lenses, computer, and time with boyfriend.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- the 1st january of 2010. :) why? because i spend the whole night with that moron. :') err, no negative thinking, aite?

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- lol, understand HTMLs? :( fml, none.

9. What was your biggest failure?
- idk.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
- yeah, few days ago. i had infection on my digest area. what the kiss. =.=

11. What was the best thing you bought?
- my bag :3

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
- none.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
- uhh a lot.

14. Where did most of your money go?
- foods, transportation. :(

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- dying my hair red, if only i could. :'(

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
- no one alicia keys.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
- a.) none.
b.) thinner, like bone. D:
c.) richer cos i got monthly allowance now. >:3

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
- studying. blah

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
- online. D:

20. How did you spend your Christmas?
- sleeping my shizz out, eat, online, eat, online, eat, sleep.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
- nope. the last time i fell in love is 02 october 2009 :D

22. What was your favorite TV program?
- i dont watch TV.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
- hhmm, yeah.

24. What was the best book you read?
- none.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
- timbaland. :P try hearing his Mumbai, that rocks.

26. What did you want and get?
- :(

27. What did you want and not get?
- a lot.

28. What was your favorite film of last 2010?
- a lot.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
- dont remember. cry? im 17 like, adenine. how could you said 16 is old when im older than you?! D:< *slaps you with hot dog*

30. What one thing made your 2010 immeasurably more satisfying?
- im kinda free now :)

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year?
- messy beggar style. hahahahaha

32. What/who kept you sane?
- idk how to answer this question.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
- none.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
- Malay and Indo's football issue? if that's consedered as politic.

35. Who did you miss?
- Kevin :3

36. Who was the best new person you met?

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
- don't be too serious in love, until you're old. :D

ldjflajfakljdflasdjflkasjdfsdfjlk randoooooooooooooom
uhh just woke up. feels like a very lazy pig waking up at this kind of time. T__T
i spend today's afternoon just sleeping my shizz out. what the kiss.
i dreamt of something that scares the kiss out of me. first i dreamt that bro has some kind of doppelganger which is very bad and stole things from our house, which we all blame bro but found out after all that it's not him who did all the sins. then i dreamt about me from Tg.pinang are preparing to go back to Jakarta and i dont know why me, mom, and random other people were sitting on a very; lemme repeat VERYYY high stairs that was like, idk, 70 degree? it's scary. cause i'm afraid of heights so that's scary for me and in my dream i was like screaming so hard, so hard that all the people n my dream were looking hillariously at me. =.= what the kiss, tsk. i don't know lah if im screaming or not in real life.

btw i just found out that christmas is in the end of the year.
and everytime christmas is happening you wish for something right?
and everytime you wish for something, you must be wishing like this,
"dear santa, i wish this year i could blablabla .."
so you said this year which means only 6 days left of this year rite?
so you only wish for 6 days, not next year. :/
i kinda realize this when i read someone's pic on random tumblr.
well, uh. that's kinda sad though.

btw i found this pic on tumblr LOL, disgusting.

this pic is found on hellyeahitsrandom.tumblr.com
ekhh. midnighht already, like 1:34 AM in the morning.
still spamming posts in my blog hoping that i can be tired looking at all this text ..
but till now, no results. ekkhh. madesu much.
when i was browsing weheartit.com for some delicious picture to put on my profile (above), i saw this pic that makes me go aaahhh.

ah, resource from fallenforaghost.tumblr.com.

i mean, cute or not?!!
that girl is a hella beauty, with her hella gotgeous hair, RED.
i want that kind of hair so bad wa. why can't asians be pretty with redhair? damn.
i've always wanted to dye my hair like that. but here only aunties dye red hair wa.
then if i dye hair like that i will look like an auntie, with my pimples as decorations. wtf lah =.=

btw i have seen many original bloggers had changed their lay into someone else's lay ho.
kinda sad cos the originality is gone but i have to admit after changing it their blog looks lot more nicer wor.
kinda jealous, and start to feel bred with this lay. =.=
come on wa, san. you just change this lay 2 days ago. so fast become bored?
tsk tsk.
  1. how selfish you are to me.
  2. how you always want me to understand you but in fact you never understand me.
  3. hate how childish you are!
  4. hate how you always say that im the one who is in fault.
  5. how un open-minded you are.
  6. how you treat your fans and never speak seriously with them that you got me already. ;(
  7. how serious you are facing a problem.
  8. how you always get so jealous even with a game! D:
  9. how you always get so busy ..
  10. how you make me so deeply in love with you..
you moron. i love you so much. please don't hurt me, can you?
i still don't know how ur future will be later but all i want is a good future, with you.
i want you to be the father of our kids. i want us to be happily ever after, no matter how hard it is i'll try my best to have you by my side forever.
1 more week, babe. and we'll be 1 year and 3 months. :')

blaah, what the kiss. holiday's lasting, pimple's increasing, like boom.
anyone knows how to get rid of pimples instantly?
how do i show my twitter posts in the sidebar?
gimme the javascripts please, thank you.
I just woke up, then suddenly i got a call from Mom.
she, as usual, speaks with very high tone, angry tone, while me, idk what did i do wrong, have to bear with it.
then she asked me what am i doing here, where am i, what am i doing in house.
i feel like wanna scream that time already.

then what makes me completely mad is what mom said after that.
"you better not play with pimis i tell you. look how i will kill you if you play with pimis a. try lah"

yeah, you don't know what pimis are?
of course you don't know. i've hide the real word just in case people gets angry.
i mean what the fuck should you fucking angry with me fucking playing with pimis?
i have a fucking right to play with them , aite?
they are humans too.
why the fuck are you so fucking mad?
i am 17 already, i have the right to decide whom should i play with, NOT YOU.
you are my mom but you don't have the right to control my life FOREVER.

haeh ..
please respect me, Mom.
please respect my choice, whatever it is, will you?
my boyfriend is now a pimi, i really hope someday you will open up yor mind and accept everybody the way they are.
i love him, so much.
please accept us.


btw i have this nightmare just now.
what the fuck i dreamt of getting a lot of Bs in my report card, 2 As only and 2 Ds?
i don't remember how much C i got.
and i don't even know why there are so many grades in my report.
what im saying is please don't make me get a D.
please ! D:
my mom is a serial killer already, and she already kills when im not even in the wrong.
please don't maek her kill me more. =___=

and yeah, i decided to keep this blog private like Myx.
imma post a lot of personal things later.

if you still wanna tune in to my blog, tell me through facebook or twitter, kay?
kbai thx

but i changed my URL tho :)
yeah, to keep away to much unwanted visitors
Kekalahan Indonesia 3-0 atas malaysia semalam, membuat banyak orang geram, kesal terhadap ulah suporter malaysia yang tidak henti-hentinya menyoroti laser ke pemain-pemain timnas Indonesia terutama penjaga gawang Marcus mulai dari menit awal hingga menit ke 58, wasit pun sempat memberhentikan pertandingan beberapa menit karena ulah suporter yang licik, namum pertandingan pun dilanjutkan.

Akhirnya malaysia menang 3-0, dan masyarakat Indonesia pun kesal, tidak hanya itu, beberap artis luar negeri, pemain sepak bola luar negeri pun ikut berkomentar disetiap twitter pribadi. Memang kelakuan suporter malaysia itu hanya bermodalkan kecurangan.

gambar dibawah diambil oleh seseorang penoton televisi dan langsung diupload ke twitter nya.

Lihatlah ulah suporter setelah pertandingan usai, menginjak shal bertuliskan Indonesia.

gimana masyarakat Indonesia ga geram, dengan ulah mereka,. disini saya tidak kesal dengan kekalahan Indonesia, tetapi saya kesal terhadap suporter malaysia.

Beberapa masyarakat Indonesia pun tidak tinggal diam, setelah pertandingan usai, Hacker from Indonesia pun langsung membom bardir website lokal malaysia, tidak hanya sedikit yang dihack. silahkan dilihat buktinya


dan masih ratusan website yang telah dihack,.

REPOST FROM : click here
i've watched Indo vs Malaysia, well not entire match but at least i watched some.
Indo lost.
and people said Malay cheated.
they said that Malay used some kind of laser thingy and distract the football members and the formation gt messed up.
and now people are talking about this laser thingy and how will they pay for it.
lol. idk.

somehow i think that Indo people are too emotional, and somehow they can't accept defeat.
but in the other hand, Malay's at fault too.
well, i think so, cause they had used this laser thing and what's more, they had stole Indo's precious Batik.
so yeah, none of them are good.
and that match; that match 2 hours ago is a big one, and got to do with pride, so yeah.
that was a big one.
idk, i just don't feel like supporting either of the country :/

me and Kevin played wild ones just now. :3
but then he went off because he said his eyes is hurt.
i hope he's okay.
ksoo i think that's all.
Sis hasn't returned from home.
hope she's okay too, imma wait for her.
parah abis, liburan aku ada sebulan lebih dan aku uda menghabiskan 3 ato 4 hari (ya?) di rumah blogging dan maen ayodance doank.
wew, kalo gitu terus keknya aku bakal jamuran nih.
masalahnya kan satu bulan lebih.
mana uang kuliah bikin males lgi, ngurusnya ribet banget, dan dan tentunya,
nilai kuliah ...

aku sayang Kevin banget.
hubungan kita lancar dan baek banget.
aku sayaaaaaaaaaaaaang banget ama dia.
gak mao sedikitpun melepas dia.
denger gak sih, jeyek?
aku gak mao lepasin kamu! :')

ari ini ari final malay lawan Indonesia.
well of course, Indo have to win, after all of the cocky supporter yang bilang Ibdo hebat and bangga2n.
kalo gak yah, well, pasti malu banget.
aku bukan pendukung Malay, bukan pendukung Indonesia juga,
tapi berhubung aku tinggalnya di Indonesia jadi aku ada lah, bela Indo dikit.

wow no offence though.

i removed comment box.
if you wanna say anything just say it on tagboard.

imlek uda mo dateng.
baju belom dibeli, dan anak2 liau lai uda pada pulang.
oh well, i guess i can't go home.
i have to wait ajie. :/

new skin again btw.

anyways this is my audition character!

cute? cute?
hello people. i'm back on the track again! ;D

after days of hiatus i'm back to blogging again.
well i guess you guys notice some of the changes i have made, right?

first, i've removed lots of affiliates, cause somehow i think that's a bit disturbing, cause blogging is supposed to be something personal for me, so yeah i'm only keeping those who are close to me. you can remove my name from your affie list, i don't mind. :)
after all this is a personal blog, and it don't need much of that attention. ;D

second, my skins.
that would be the most obvious changes you can see, i think, apart from the affie links.
well yeah i have decided to change because the previous one; as i said; sucks.
and yeah, i meant it. :|
maybe some of you guys like it because of the navis or whatever but i think it sucks, just honest.
and oh, that skins makes me remember of how much pain i had during my sickness too, yeah.
so i changed it to keep away from reminding it. :|

third, changes that i made is that i wont have any exchange links or whatever joining contest or whatever ever again. :)
it's useless.

fourth, i decided to keep this back on track a secret to see how many people have noticed! ;D
then i will know who's the real affies of mine and who's not.
clever? ;P

well i think that's all for my blabbering of changes.

it's been a few weeks of misery for me.
i got this stomachache which had haunted me for a week until i went to a doctor and doctor said i got infection on digestion area.
well, that's surprising though cos i never had any of that before.
so i have to rest a lot, and what's more miserable, i can't eat any spicy food. D;
well that's hell though.
but thank God after i drink medicine for 2 days i have recovered. :)

so this holiday i think imma stuff myself with plating lots of computer though.

i have been playing audition lately.
this is my character. ;D

uh well you wish, suzanne. =.=
that's only clothes from the shopping mall im dying to have for.
actually i realized i never get the chance or time to take my character's screenshot properly.
well, that's sucks, but at least you know how audition looks like. ;D

err, i think that's all?
imma be blogging tomorrow if i want to.
can't wait to play audition again tomorrow. :P

oh and btw i just had a webcam with Kevin and that's fun. ;D
well, sort of, until he got bored and his internet been cut off. :/
i got this from Julie :3

kawaii neeeee xD

by me @ SPV.

what's up, guys, sorry i haven't blog for a while, it's just that my health is not really kinda good..
okay, seriously, my health is totally screwed up.

i also got a confession to make.
blog has ruined my life, so bad.
and i'm glad i realize it earlier, because i don't wanna regret it in the end.
hows a simple innocent blog could ruin your life? you must probably ask me now.
well let me tell you what happen to me.

you remember last post of mine saying that i vomitted one time?
it was not, one time only.
and i tell you, it's two time, and what's more after that, i got diarrhea, and i got sent to a hospital because i can't eat and i fainted when i was on my way to buy me a meal, and then i was hospitalized in a vvip room where i have to be injected with a very big injection and i was hurting so bad i have to take a operation where the surgeon cuts my stomach out and take all the shits thats in my stomach that causes me nothing and hurt. and vomit. and diarrhea. and hurt.

lol okay, i was lying. not that exaggerating. but, but, the vomit twice and diarrhea thing was true.
and i can't eat. and i am honest now.
everytime i eat something i feels like vomitting and everytime i hold that feeling, my stomach hurts.
so yeah, you know what causes that?


okay but maybe a little fame. and fun. and maybe money. for lmyx. :P
and fun.
and why? because blogging had sucked my youth, i once said, and sucked my energy too, and made me not eating for WHOLE DAY.
what was i doing with my blog, is it humping it you ask? NO. YOU WISH.
i was coding my skin, like any other bloggers would do.
and yes, every bloggers wants to have the best-looking blog EVER, i admit. (just say yes)
because once you got the best-looking blog you are like famous a lil bit and everybody start praisin you and complimenting you.
but lemme ask.
have you ever thought that those praisin and complimenting brings any benefit to your life?


so yeah, blog brings you nothing but trouble.
well at least for me, gimme a break.
is there a cure for addicted bloggers?
YES, of course there is.
and you know what's that?
wake up and get a life y'all.
don't just spend your whole holiday just staring computer and wasting off yourselves! (err, you don't do that? uh, well, i do. teehee *smile with guilty*)
so stand up from that comfy chair your sitting, say to yourself "i'm going to eat at McDonald (or KFC) and hang out with my friends!"
don't ask why you have to say that cos i don't know why too.
just made that up. lol

so yeah, all i wanna say is, i'm going on a hiatus. :)
and yes this time is real.
but i'm not going to like close down this blog or whatever though, jeez there's a 1/4 youth and life i've wasted in here.
so yeah, imma still check this blog once in a while.
and yes you can still tag and keep tagging and maybe commenting.
i'll try my best to reply. :)
and sorry for the tags that i don't reply, i'm not really in the mood but




hugs for my affies.
is it just me, or my traffic is decreasing? :/

is it because of my current layout? is it because i've changed my wilted roses?
cause i found it quite weird because my tagboard is hella dead.
OH WELL, WHO CARES. this is my blog. my way my say my rules.

honestly, i've lost my passion for blogging. i don't know, it's just, well. blogging. nothing special about that. and i realize blogging has been sucking my youth lately.
idk, blogging = witches? :/
i think soon im gonna be on hiatus. or whatever.

today my stomach didn't work quite properly.
it's been hurting like hell. i can't describe how it feels.
and all day today, i feel like wanna vomit out all the stuff in my stomach.
uh well sorry if this article gross you out.
thank God Kevin's there for me :3
but he pissed me off this afternoon cause when he phoned me his background sound was all girl's sound. :< and i'm not happy with it. but oh well, he explained it already. :>

lately i saw a person has been ripping people's skin like crazy.
uh well, no offense, just saying, and i don't like it.
you should be still crediting the person who made the layout although you had edited it!
because if it's not, it's rude. that's all.

oh well, i'm going to go now.
keep taggin please people :(
yeah people, you need to read this, just in case your internet's slow.

this skin is kinda retarded, i have to admit.
not because the design, but because of the tabs.
maybe some of you had realized it when you view my page, the navis are not working and somehow all content like profile, links, tagboard are below the entries.
yeah, i know. i realize that. =___=
but unfortunately, that's how my tabs working.
until loading's finished, all content will stay below entries, like become one.
i'm still figuring out how to fix it though, and maybe the problem will not be solved cos the javascript for this scrolling tabs it's hella hard to understand. T___T
be patient, kay people?
but thank you thank you very much for the compliments though, people! >//3//<
i really didn't expect people saying my current skin is nice.
well i appreciate it very much. muahs muahs thank you soo much.


i didn't watch Indonesia vs Philippines.
it's somehow kinda suck i can't watch it, cause people in my dormitory are screaming "GOOAAALLL" like hell though.
makes me excited and wanna watch. *sob*
but it's okay, i know the results already. congrats for Indonesia for winning 1-0. :)
DO NOT be cocky though, cos once you get cocky, you will look down others that who knows are stronger than you.

Kevin and i had finally talk on phone just now!
i'm so glad and so happy, after all this time i'm busy with my exams.
i HEART him! i LOVE him!
first i was crying so hard though because i miss him like crazy, but in the end we laugh and talk and joking. ;D
muahs muahs muahs for my bee-bee

preview / download

here's the link to the skin if you wanna comment or rate or fave [link]

by Lionel @ SPV.

Hi all, just got back home from campus and cinemas. :)
we watched Devil, a very interesting yet kinda scary movie, just sayin.
i dont wanna tell you the spoiler cause i know that is annoying.
kay now, i think that's all.

i am so lazy to tag all you guys right now, but i promise i will reply later.
so keep taggin, kay folks. :)

im going to sleep now. i have periods and that sucks, and looks like because of that period i got fever again.
so yeah, gonna rest alot. tomorrow and 3 days forward i got hoilday. weeeee :D

and oh, i didn't get SOTD. :(
that sucks, but oh well, im just a noob.
better learn more but i think i wont submit any skins anymore. :/
too tired, wanna learn Javascript first.

aite, gotta go and take a rest now.
keep tagging!



oiah i forgot, got a gift from crystal :)
thankies muahs .

by Lionel @ SPV.

hey people.
it's 01:00 AM now and i haven't sleep yet due to assignments that i have to submit tomorrow.
it's about that mermaid thing, i haven't finish it yet. haha.
well, i only wanna say that i miss blogging about my personal stuffs though, rather than posting abouit this blog, or affies, or whatever.
after all, blog is like an online diary, right?
the only difference is blog is read by people all over the globe, while diary is not.
so there's like a limit to everything you post.

i kind of wanna make this blog private though.
or kinda make new link and delete this one cause i actually don't want too much people to see my blog, nor read my posts.
only few affies that i am close to.
but still, im considering it...

Kevin and i lately didn't talk too much.
it's because of my blogging addiction and my final exam.
i kinda feel a bit guilty though, cos after ignoring him or whatever he still supports me, love me and remind me to eat or sleep or whatever.

he's a good guy.
and he love me with all his heart, i can see it.

i will never ever replace your love for me for something else, baby bee.
mmuuaahh ~
(sorry for the mushy parts. MY BLOG, MY WAY, MY SAY.)

anyways, i have to go now, have to finish my assignments and quick, or i will not have time to sleep.
bye for now.
and i wanna welcome STEPHANIE to our graphic site first.
hello steph ;P
be sure to post lots of lots of high quality pics!
love from me <3 <3 <3 oh oh and check out my brother's video, he made this video remix about war and he added sound effect by himself, and he's only 11 YEARS OLD.
i am soo effing proud of him.
if only he study more often for his school and not abandon it, *sigh* =__=

here's the link to the video.

preview / download

rate / comment / fave / download :)
i have joined a contest, people.

Rules :
* You cannot have a private blog.
* No vulgarities or obscene pictures.
* No hiatus or MIAs or anything similar.
* The banner must be found somewhere on your site.
* You might credit ANY resources that you took from. If I found out that you didn't, you will be disqualified.
* No blogshops, and resource sites (sorry!)
* You MUST post about this site and recommend (: If not, your marks might be lower that someone else's even though your layout is about the same as his/hers.
* The language you use is ENGLISH or Melayu or Indonesian

Points to note
* This contest must have the minimum of 10 participants, and a maximum of 30 participants.
* Post about this contest ONCE, simplicity, kawaiiness, color combination, creativity, neatness, your popularity, originallity, and the way you treat your taggers and followers (affies too)

OMG Procedures :
* leave message at my tagboard with the concept : Name/URL/I want join SOTM
* Post about this contest AT ONCE when you receive the confirmation message

OMG Important Dates :
* Joining- From NOW till 19 January / when the maximum no. of participants reaches.
* Judging from 19 January - 28 January (I'll stalk you, also with another judger)
* 28 January - 30 January time to make a choice for the winner
* Result out in 31 January or 1 February or when I finish to make the gifts

OMG COOL Judicaters :
* Me (to stalk you)
* My Teacher (He is designer of my school's site)
* My friend (Who has good sense, more than one)

* Winners (1st - 3rd ) will get a SIGGY, BUTTON, BANNER, and an ADVERTISING SPOT( 3 months, 2 months and 1 month respectively )
* Merits( 4th - 6th ) will get a SIGGY, BUTTON, and BANNER.
* Another winners (Pinkish Blog, Cutest Blog, Best Posting, Colourfull Blog, etc.) will get a BUTTON and BANNER.
* SPECIAL WINNER (Friendly Blogger) will get SIGGY, BANNER and an ADVERTISING SPOT (forever)
* Rest of the participants will get a SIGGY and BANNER.

support me support me support me! xD
i will be very ;LSEJFLSFWREJGRJGLAKDRJLKDJGKLS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *throws confetti* if i win, cause this is my first ever contest.
click the banner to see the contest holder ~

preview / download

click here to visit the link.

by Lionel @ SPV.

hey guys, i am currently very bored stiff right now so i am making this 15 list that annoys me the most in my life.
i am gonna be honest! and long post, of course, lol. :P

15 things i hate the most in my life:

  1. Getting up early. Why? Because lately i had not enough sleep and i need sleeping like effing seriously.
  2. Me and him arguing? I can't see to remember myself being happy when we're arguing. hahaha. always annoys me.
  3. BITCHES IN BUSWAY. and this time i mean those girls who purposely wears like super XXLARGE handbag just to put it in front of her body and when queueing she's like using that to purposely shove people from behind but acts like innocent. and guess what? i just met a few this morning. do you know how desperate i am that time holding the urge to bitch-slap her fugly face and kicks her ass?
  4. No food supplies. That was turbo downing mood.
  5. Loud noise annoys the crap out of me. and i guess that occures to everyone too, ay?
  6. Over-reacted person (although me personally admit that i am like that), or a person that talk too much or whatever. you sure don't want a friend that accompanies you only to buy meals in front and she talks like every milliseconds, rite?
  7. PERIODS. ;( it hurts. and ruin my mood totally.
  8. sometimes my brother. or even my bigger sist :| but they annoys me in a positive way though. like making me laugh or whatever lol :3
  9. Copiers, spammers, rippers, duh? still need to explain?
  10. No money :(
  11. MY MOM. sometimes she really get the crazy out of me.
  12. exams. yeah, like right onw. can't play with HTMLs cos i have to study =___=
  14. smelly body, whether it's from yourself or from other people. Do i still need to explain? can you even stay for 1 minute smelling a body that smells like corpse? lol
  15. people who thinks they are the coolest, like PLEASE. everybody's the same, y'all.

well that's my 15 things. actually it's kinda hard cos i have to think about it, not naturally comes out of it. hmm.


cos it's kinda fun knowing somebody else's annoy list :P
so it's easier if you wanna annoy them sometimes lolol JK.

and yes, please reblog it, for my sake.
respect me, kays? :(

preview / download

rate / comment / fave / download :)
you see, i got a lot of tags for this award:

i am worried affies may say im cocky or whatever for not repost it, but just FYI, guys, i've had this award for like long time ago, so i won't post it again, for the second time. :(

here's the link if you don't believe me or somehow if you need a proof.

but of course, i do appreciate! :3

thank you for believing my bloggie and give me this award !
i <3 you guys. very much! muahs muahs

AND ZOMG I HAD THE CUTEST BUTTON EVER FROM SOMEONE CALLED AUDREY and i got a banner with my name form the sweetheart Amelia too ! ;D

here's the cuties :

zomg im going to die that looks so cute waaaaaa lololol xD
thank you so much, you guys are the best <3 and omg did i like lucky to receive 3 gifts at the same day or what? i got another award from Craziest Girl.

Thanks, btw! i just start to blog and yet so many people already giving me stuffs xD
so happy :')
i changed my skin. for the 35456465672th time.

i know, i know.
you guys are probably very fed up because i change skin like 1 time every 2 days.
but i promise i won't change again this time!


cos, people, i am the one who made this skin.
i am like handcoded it with blood and sweat, and a little help from my sister with the flower pic i found somewhere in Google.

yeah, i know. noob, ugly, or whatever, you guys professional blogskin maker would probably say.
but gimme a break, ay?
this is my first time, ever.

some codes are not working though, like the older posts and newer post waaaay down below this post.
it is supposed to got border radius but somehow it doesn't work.
but oh well then.

btw i got no back to top button.
i have removed it.
sis said it is not necessary since i don't have long posts that need to scroll like hell to the bottom.
she's a web designer, so i can trust her words and her experience.

oh, and btw,
do you wanna be in my vip links, like Myx, Caryn, Stephanie, and Sonia at the sidebar beside?
if you want to, win my heart, like them.
be close to me!
not just visit my blog, ask for a link exchange then leave.
it's not cool, y'all.
tsk tsk.

and please, people, don't steal anything, kay?
have some sense of originality.
i made this like, with all my life.
caught red-handed ripping or stealing something and imma ake you miserable.


went out with sis and her friend today to TA.
we were supposed to be ice-skating but we cancelled it because ice-skating place is used for hockeying. boo. :(
so we went to Timezone to play a lil' bit, went to W&A to eat burgers and most of all, went to Taman Menteng to hang out there.
we had some fun though. :)

well i think that's all for now.

see my posting time?
i didn't sleep.
idk, just can't sleep. lol.
so i think imma prepare to school a bit later, after i visit all my lovely affies. :)
kthxbai people muahs.

i love my boy Kevin.

and myx, i miss you too.
i check your blog whether you're online or not everytime i open my blog.
hope we can chat soon. :(


ada yang suka ama dia di kampus.
dia kasi tau aku, barusan.

aku mati sejenak denger kata-kata dia.
dia segala-galanya buat aku, dia semangat hidup aku.
aku ngomong ama dia, kalo misalnya dia juga ada rasa ama cewek itu, biar dia kasi tau aku, supaya aku bisa kasi dia pilihan, asal dia bahagia.
tapi aku bohong.
cewek mana sih yang generous banget, relain cowoknya pergi ama cewek laen?

pokoknya kamu milikku.
please, jangan pernah pergi dari aku!
aku gak bisa idup tanpa kamu, aku gak bisa.
mau aku buktikan gak?
Her name is GMTS.

from the first time i saw her in PMB, i was in love with her (not in a lesbian way but admire, think straight kay guys).
she has this long hair, flawless face and she is not girly at all. she's sporty, she is tomboy.
but the way she is now attract me so much.
i think other people probably agrees too with what i am saying.
i always stare at her, looking at how perfect she is, and maybe she freaks out too, realizing me always looking at her?
and compare her to myself, i am the ugly ducking. a very, very ugly one.

who know that she will be a classmate of mine?
her name is so nice, so different. one of a kind.
and she is getting along quite well with seniors too, in fact, she is now a girlfriend of a VIP seniors.
and she hangs out quite much with seniors, and i've seen the photos and it looked fun.
she's a primadona.

while me?

i don't have that confidence, and when seniors say hi at me, i was like dodging and reply with something that freak them out like maybe raising brows or stuffs?

compare to her, i am a freak.

yeah, you can say i am jealous with her. in fact, i am always jealous with her!
she has everything i ever wanted to have. long hair, flawless face, and idk, fame, or even a happy family?
all my friends says that she's just so-so, or 'biasa'. but no, i don't really think so.
for me, she has it all.
and i, in a million years of time would never ever have everything hat she have, cause i am just an ugly duckling that struggle to survive in this cruel little world.


BTW i have made a christmas banner for all my affies. if you wanna grab it it's okay, just take it! it is meant for distribution though. :) but remember to credit, of course. the pretty background is from weheartit.com.

merry christmas everyone. :)
i got the weirdest dream ever.

i dreamt about my class taking a cruise to somewhere and somehow we are in a ship, then Melia's starting to have her own little ship and start to talk with her hometown accent, but then she got pranked by Richard and she was sooo sad, and i came and scold at Richard for being so rude towards people that miss their hometown.
i was kinda pissed of in that dream because i got my own hometown too, but then like suddenly im at my home, but it's kinda like fairy tales scene? my home is kinda like caves in mountain and stuff, and then i approach Mommy at a some kind of hall and here comes the worrying part.

she said to me she's glad that i come home because she's been miserable cos no one including stepfa and bro help him in the house, and she's very tired.
she wanna take me to go around my hometown and she wanted to like, marry me with an 11 year old guy?
but that time i was so rushing so i said i can't and mom's kinda sad.

you know, it's not about the dreams, it's about something to do with mom, i wonder what happen to her there and i am also afraid something could go wrong with her, but im afraid to call her because last night she called and she said she was so frustrated about something only-me-and-my-sis-knows.

so yeah, i only can pray, hope she's okay there.
i really don't want anything to happen to her.

btw i got this pretty christmas gift from Julie. Check her out! maybe she got gifts for you too! xD

and i had changed my skin into something like this, i really like it, hopefully my readers like it too though. :/
okay thx bai.
i will change my skin again.

i dont know. i don't really comfy with it. :/
but just maybe.
wait till i make one of my own, maybe.

cos somehow a few people complain about the floating sidebar and they can't see it.
i had changed some of my affie links, and change my cbox into a popup.
IF YOU STILL CAN'T SEE IT, well i don't know what to say anymore.

i had changed my skin, people. :D

NEVER EVER TRY to comment or critic my new skin, cause i love it.
and it's your business if you hate it or whatever.
i like red, cos red is blood.
red is brave.
BOOHOO FOR YOU if you hate it. :P

by myx @ SPV.

seeing stephanie's blog about her 2 monthsary makes me miss Kevin so much.
yeah, i may not crying now, but my heart is ripped into pieces, and with thorns on it.
it's been like 4 months or more since the last time i meet him, because of our study?

oh fuck.
i am crying now.

i miss you kevin.
i mis you so much.
i get jealous everytime i see couple's hugging and kissing.
i want that too. i wanna have fun with you too.
going out to malls, watching cinemas together.
when can we do that, my bee?

i was hoping to see you this semester holiday. but you said you only got 1 week of holiday.
i was so frustrated, i can't even accept reality.
you said that we only can meet again after 3 years.
3 years? what kind of relationship is that?
you want me to wait you 3 years?

my happiness is with you. even my life is with you.
i need you, you're my life.
i was crying so hard when i think of how long i have to bear this kind of feeling,
this missing you and need you by my side feeling.
i need your hug, i need your smile.
you're my everything to me, you know that.

please don't hurt me more!
please don't make me wait more longer than this!
i rather die.

by me @ SPV.

hey guys, today i was quite happy because my exams are quite smooth :P
i managed to study last night even though i stay up late until 3 am, but that's worth it.
but am gonna pissed off though if i still got bad marks from my hardwork. :x

i went to iceskating with my friends after the exams.
it was fun! that's my second time i iceskate in my whole life. :D
lol, so lame, i know. but what? everyone's experience is different mah, right?
i fell twice which hurt my hand quite a bit, but i was fine.
can't stand the cold though. xD

i took some pictures when i iceskate but no, i don't wanna post it. =_=
too fugly mugly. lol

iceskate place is soooooo effing crowded when it's around noon!
i hate that. can't skate freely and i have to like watch out just in case people in front of me fell down and hit me or there's somebody striking me behind.
thank god nothing happened when i skated this noon.

LOL there are lots of western people skating too. :'O
omigosh i was like "wooooaaahhhhh~ (impressed)"
not impressed by they're skating but by they're pretty looks and heights.
lol it's not that i never see western people in real life lah.
just never see it that close.
they were sooo flawless while me, yellow skin and omigosh, black hair T___T
i want blooond hair!!!! like them!!
LOL sometimes i am blaming myself for not appreciating what i have now but yeah, still.
that is my dream. T___T


after iceskating we decided to go home around 4pm +. it was quite frustrating though, seeing busway shelter is sooooooooooooo crowded, like hell.

i got this pic from google. somehow my situation look exactly like this.

so i decided to take opposite direction busway from my house hoping there's a changce that i get a seat for my long journey.
which cause NO SEATS AT ALL, in fact i have to pay another busway ticket because i reach the end of the busway shelter just to find a no person shelter.
oh well, you guys will never understand too no matter how hard i explains because you guys never feel it.

the main thing is, i wanna say busway sucks.
at any rate.
and of course, the passenger sucks too because they push and they shove like we dont have to breathe at all.

so yeah, i am fed up.

i decided to take ojek instead although the price is like 5 times busway.
so what, i reach home faster, its worth it.
so i waited and waited, but because traffic jam in jakarta is unbelievably disgusting, i decided to walk to a little quieter road and find ojek there.
then came one, thank God.

so yeah here i am blabber about my day today, i hope tomorrow will be a good day for me but i dont think so cause i still have assignments to do. u___u

so yeah, goodbye all.
wanna refresh by playing audition. :3

anyone who got an audition ID add me on sansan93.
waiting for you guys to play with me. ;D

oh, and btw,

i got complains from others saying that they can't see my sidebar due to the floating effect.
i wanna ask you guys what browser you guys are using?
cos i totally don't see any problems on Google Chrome and Mozilla Firefox so i dont know if this skin got any problems on other browser.
so yeah if you guys wanna see how perfect this skin are use Google Chrome okay, it's the best one for viewing this skin.

chiao ~
LOL i got the most weirdest game ever when i browse Eel's blog!!!! MUST-TRY HAHAHAHA!!!

click here for the game.

this made my day sooo much!!!!!
xD xD xD xD

by me @ SPV.

eh pardon people im gonna write in Indonesian here because i dont really in the mood for English blogging. and pardon for the violence words below. AM SOO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW.

apa-apaan ini.

awal UAS yang bener2 gak baik deh. masa dari 25 soal pilihan ganda bahasa indonesia, 5 essay dan i karangan gak ada yang aku bisa. eh, okelah ada bisa sedikit-sedikit. BUT WTF, cma 20% dari 100% soal aja yang aku bisa. sialan lah. mana mungkin gak ngulang aku.
disuruh bikin karangan 5 paragraf pake bahasa indonesia yang baik dan benar, aku buatnya entah apa-apa.
gak tau lah aku, pasrah deh. mana ada 2 soal essay yang aku gak jawab lagi gara-gara waktunya uda habis (walaupu aku jawab pun bakal ttep slah).

terus pulang aku ditinggal lagi ama temen-temen.
temen pulang aku pada ikutin temen aku yang bawa mobil ke arah sunter jadi aku sendirian bersama 2 teman yang gak ikut (yntung aja masi ada yang gak ikut, kalo smua ikut? sendirian deh).



FXCK banget gak tuh namanya.

mood aku yang dari ceria terpaksa-paksa langsung badmood beneran.
terus saking sebelnya, waktu antri ada tante-tante dorong aku dari belakang pake tangan dia aku tepis. bodo, biarin aja. sapa suruh akunya sebel. nasib kamu lah ditepis.

ntah lah skarang ntahlah.
beneran gak ada niat belajar lagi AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHGGG.

walaupun uda minta bantu temen kirimin kisi-kisinya,

sebel aku.

by Lmyx @ SPV.

i saw my former secondary high school classmate just now. *name censored*
she's so pretty, so flawless, and i can see that even though she didn't go college, she's a big success girl, with her dancing group, and i can see she's hanging out with most important person already.

then i saw another friend.

he is known to be very sissy. very unsuccesful. but look at him now.
great, tall, manly, i have to admit.

then i think of my other friend now. my best friend now.
she's becoming a great pretty girl that is liked by a lot of boy, plus i heard she's entering a shampoo contest in some sort of mall, idk where.

then, i look at myself.
i think.
what have i become?

a failure?

i don't have any improvements, at all, except the fact that i grew older and my wrinkles and pimples are appearing more and more due to staying up late.

why am i such a failure?

what do i even good at?
singing? nah, defintely not. my singing is as horrible as duckling screaming.
my drawing? not even close. i saw like tons of great talents drawer all over the world, and im not even close.
HTMLing? forget about it. even if im good at it. what can it helps? making skins at blogskins? do it even earn money and fame? no.

so im guessing, i dont have any talents, at all.
im still such a failure, and i dont have any talents.
my college marks not even pretty, i assume.
so i guess im nothing, ay?


first, i have to say the main reason i cant improve is that my low self - esteem.
i think that i am too low, i can't compare to others that are awesome and such.
i dont know, just think so.

second, i have this trauma that keep me not confident enough to be brave.
fuck trauma.
and if you ask what my trauma is, i better not talk about it.
it happens when i was i secondary high school.

third, ohh .. never mind, forget about it, i dont even wanna talk about it.


i have to tell myself to be strong, to be brave.
i can't be forever like this.
you surely don't want people to see you in the next 10 years and say "what? you still as before? no improvements?" do you, susan?
ah i gonna fight this time.

ah, hey guys. i'm so pissed off right now. i was like doing assignments from 3 pm, until now, and its like 6 pm already, but i only done like 30% of it? (due to my fever and the big temptation to go online a few minutes which turns out a few hours, of course. *sigh*)

how annoying is that.

the deadline's tomorrow, cos tomorrow is my BIG day.
yeah. tomorrow's my final exam. and i still haven't study yet. fcuk. what am i going to answer later? LOLOLOLOL.

well if you guys are so curious what kind of assignments that i'm screwing know, i'll show you some of it. ive taken some pics about it.

here's the pic of mermaid saving the prince :D 40% done, though.

this, my friend, are some of my drawings that i have to submit for my final exams. and this is what i'm talking about whole time (not to mention others too, that i dont take pics about it).
our lecturer asked us to tell a story (whatever it is) using pictures, but we're not allowed to tell the story by comics structure. hhm. how do i say it? hmm. you have to draw some pics in one paper to tell the whole story. kinda like that.

so i chose mermaid.

if you guys never heard of mermaid story (which your childhood probably sucks much), mermaid is a story about a mermaid (of course) saving a prince that she loves in a storm (maybe? i don't really remember). then when the prince woke up, she wanna marry the girl that has saved him but he married the wrong girl. mermaid wanna say to that prince that she's the one who saved him but got no legs to walk. so she comes to a witch and ask the witch if she can have a pair of legs. the witch said yes, unless mermaid wants to give up her sounds and ability to talk. mermaid said yes. but the witch said if she didn't marry the prince, she'll turns into a bubble. and because her love for the prince is ssoooo big, she agrees to all of the witch terms and conditions. so she had a leg.

but in the end, she still died. she turned into a bubble because the prince is a MORON.
i mean, he didn't even investigate first. how stupid is that?
poor mermaid, you stupid prince. mermaid is prettier 100 times than the girl you marry.

so yeah, FYI, mermaid story is a sad ending. but somehow disney made it a happy ending because it's meant for kids and it's not good to tell a sad ending to kids. so yeah.

i think that's all?
i don't wanna spam my blog with too many pics, just in case you guy's internet sucks.
how good am i? LOL

anyways, wish me done my assignments quicker, ay?
so i can care for this blog more. lol
see ya.